Glorious defenders of freedom bring communism to court in China v Pott

[narrator]: alright, so we've wanted to do this for a long time. Anyways, we couldn't find anyone who was willing to defend communism, unsurprisingly, so we got this random-ass tankie's imaginary vanguard tankist waifu as a defense.

[The recording begins. This is a transcription.]

Pott: Alright, guys. I've been preparing for this. I've played over 2213823839934 hours of ace attorney and among us, and I am ready to absolutely destroy communism using facts and logic. Specifically, we're accusing communist states of committing multiple genocides. We'll start with the famines in China.

Pott: I'm inviting my witness to the stage now.

Anonymous[wearing a mask]: Hello, I'm an anonymous guy. My grandpa lived in China, bro. It sucked. Like, everyone was starving. In China they had no food, they had to eat each other and get eaten. [he breaks down into sobs] it was HORRIBLE!

Zhou: OBJECTION!

Pott[visibly irritated]: what is it?

Zhou: This man, he doesn't have any proof. We don't know if he's telling the truth.

Anonymous[leaving the room]: Don't be ridiculous! We all know how reliable anecdotal evidence is!

Pott: Alright, next piece of evidence: ha ha no food Mao vs Sparrows 69420 quadrillion dead tuna man massacre wuegghyugurag genocide.

Judge: Alright, I'm going to---

Zhou: HOLD IT!

Pott[visibly irritated]: What is it this time?

Zhou: That-that's not evidence. You just said a bunch of random words! Isn't that right, Mr. Judge?

Judge: No, no, the evidence seems fine to me.

Pott: Anyways, on to evidence three: Communism red. Red sus. Mao imposter. Imposter bad, communism sus.

Zhou: This isn't among us.

Pott: What do you mean? Is it wrong to say that communism is sus?

Zhou: Yes, that's what I'm saying. Besides, that's not evidence.

Judge: No, I think he's right. I'm just going to declare China guilty now.

Zhou: This kangaroo court is stupid. This man isn't even a real judge, is he?

Judge: How did you know that?

Pott: SHUT UP!

Judge: Alright, anyways, we've already determined that communism is guilty. Are you getting this down?