You caught me. I was trying not to smile while recording the voice section, but you can hear me smile a bit, because of how utterly round about the article is. I wanted to stretch the reveal as long as possible, because just saying it plainly would have been a Mastodon post. But I wanted an article. So I filled it up with a bunch of bullshit.
I’m a dumbass. I didn’t realize it was your writing. I would have given a more considerate critique. Interesting to see what you were intending. I put it behind a spoiler tag in case anyone wants the full effect.