It's a problem that's comes up surprisingly often for many of us, I'm sure. Just last night, I mistook a false column for a large animal, and only after charging the beast multiple times with my trusty umbrella did I come to realize I'd been duped yet again by big column.
You’re not alone in that my good chap. In my time I’ve had a series of rows with false columns. The things tend to loom quite suddenly when one least expects them.
IF YOU HAVE FOUND THIS NOTE YOU MUST BE ENGAGED IN DEMOLISHING ONE OF THE FALSE COLUMNS THAT HAVE BEEN PLACED IN THE FOYER OF THE SAINSBURY WING OF THE NATIONAL GALLERY. I BELIEVE THAT THE FALSE COLUMNS ARE A MISTAKE OF THE ARCHITECT AND THAT WE WOULD LIVE TO REGRET OUR ACCEPTING THIS DETAIL OF HIS DESIGN.
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ONE OF THE DONORS OF THIS BUILDING IS ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED THAT YOUR GENERATION HAS DECIDED TO DISPENSE WITH THE UNNECESSARY COLUMNS.