Calculating the death toll of communism — step-by-step guide for my fellow libreals

Ahead note: This is based in unquestiobnle science™, and everyone doubting your calculation results is an evil commie who opposes glorious Murican freedom!

Step 1: Take one of your parents' age in years. Actually, for increased accuracy, take boths'. Multiply with the dollar to ruble exchange rate. Multiply with the last two digits of the year plus the first two (this will make sure that the death toll will continue increasing every year — those evil commies just won't stop murdering innocent freedom-loving citizens). Multiply with 1 million.

Step 2: Add everyone who died from coronavirus, worldwide. Coz taht cronavirus is work ot the evil commie Chinese!1!!!1!!

Step 3: Old Cuban person dies peacefully in their sleep? Definitely a victim of commulism! Add in everyone who ever died under a socialist sysltem.

Step 4: Everyone who died in a war involving some comunist faction? All victims of comounism! Even if they ywere cowmmunists themselves, who died fighting a reactionary invader force... oh, sorry, I meant our democratic freedom fighter patriots!

Step 5: Add in the 1,000,000 aliens from outer space who died while being detained by the Soviets back in 1935.

Step 6: If you're a tru freedum-loving liberal, multiply with Avogadro's number. If you're just a random left-wing noob, your accurate™ number is in the last step.

Other note: Noi spellchecking involned becaus spelling is autoritarian. No aMurikkan partriot would let themselves be ordered around by some dictionary that 's been written by the coomies anyways.