Scientific papers are often titled "What it's actually about: something witty." This one is about object personification and so after the colon they personify the paper itself by giving it an emotion.
Oh, that makes sense. I interpreted "sad" as the paper making the person who didn't read it sad, the same way sad music is about making the listener sad than the actual music itself.
Technically the paper is about the personification of objects in relation to autism.
If you do not read the paper it will be sad. Since it's the paper being sad, and not you thinking that the paper will be sad, technically we could argue that the paper is just lonely and wants somebody to talk to.
i wouldn't have done it if the paper didn't say it was itself.
Arguably the paper here is personifying itself, our interpretation of it is dependent on whether or not we want to believe the paper or not. I'm not the one ascribing the emotion of sadness to the paper, it's the paper ascribing it to itself. I'm merely interpreting what the paper says to be the probable truth here.
because that's what the paper said, and i'm allowed to think whatever i want to think. Maybe i think the papers true because for the purposes of this thread, it makes my shitpost funny, maybe i think it's true because i think the concept of sentience is bullshit.
Maybe i'm just lying and i don't actually think it's true, but i'm just saying it is for the statement.