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Lemmy server not federating (a ~1 user server)

Hi everybody!

I have a Lemmy server up and running for some maybe 10 months, and all was nice and good until I upgraded to 0.19.1, .2 .3 backtracking to .2, again to .3.

Everything seemed to start federating again, but with a twist; for example I had to post on [email protected] to jolt my server into communication with them for example.

Seemed okay, but now it's back again (I do not check out every community I'm connected to every week or more), and posting doesn't do anything on for example [email protected]. My post is there but I only see one answer out of two and I have like +1 on my server and more when I use this account checking out (this account is not on my server).

Note: I recently had a stupidly unlucky fiber cut for like 6 days (miss management, weekend, ...) so the server was offline for almost a week.

I tried other "navigators" than Jerboa and it's not Jerbias fault as it's the same on say Voyager.

I obviously tried reloading, restarting, posting, ...

Is there a way saving my server? Like an sql statement bringing all "dead" federation links up again as new? Maybe it's just me who doesn't make my server chat enough so some communities are flagged dead (even if I'm subscribed to them)?

Any help greatly appreciated!

Ps. Can show screens of it if needed (but it's like yeah, mindoki server 2 votes, others more).