How do y'all get over the fear of falling on lead?
Got lead certified recently, but I pretty much drop a grade when climbing lead - I'm not as confident and I overgrip.
I've done lead falls, I know how to do 'em well, and yet... as someone who's done top rope for many years, it's scary not feeling the tension (however small) of a rope pulling your harness up.
Exposure therapy. The more falls you take, the less anxiety you'll feel when facing the next fall.
Unfortunately, the fear comes back over time if you don't take falls, so you need to keep doing it. As they say, if you're not falling, you're not trying hard enough.
Both, really. Practice falls will help for sure, but it's always easier to commit to a voluntary fall.
Being in a situation where you're trying your hardest not to fall is where the fall anxiety really comes out, and pushing through that is a question of practice. The first fall in a session is usually the hardest, and once you've taken that fall, you realize that it's not that bad, and it gets easier to commit.
I read some advice somewhere where someone suggested to do continuous fall practice on the first route of the day. e.g. When you're at the third clip do a fall right at the clip, then halfway to the next clip do a fall, then at the next clip (before clipping in) do a fall. I think this should get you over the fear of falling, at least for that session
Mock leading is another common thing for beginners. Climb toprope with a few extra feet of rope hanging off your harness so you can practice finding a stance and clipping without the fall potential.
I’d add to this: think of the gym lead certification as just the start. As others have said, lead head is a thing and it’s perishable unfortunately. Some people have no issues, some (like myself) struggle with it and have to keep up with it or it goes away fast.
But in general, yeah, expect to do worse on lead. Most people are more cautious, hence over gripping, but also having to stop and clip. Takes that much more effort, and learning rest positions becomes all that much more important. It really does just take a lot of time.
It's totally normal to be afraid to fall, especially if you just recently got certified. The best way to overcome that, is get used to that feeling by practicing.
When I started climbing again a few years ago, I made the same conclusion as you: there was a full grade between my top rope and lead climbings. At this point I decided to simply stop doing top rope entirely, to get used to lead. It took months, but it worked great ! I took many falls of course, and sometimes forced myself into trying moves even though I knew I would fall (rather than asking my partner to catch me).
This is the best advice I could give you: only do lead climbing for a few months, until it becomes natural to you, and take a moment after each fall to appreciate how smooth it was :)
And just so you don't feel too bad about it: you will always be scared to fall, it's natural, especially when you're above the clip, and not sure about your move. But at some point, you will simply be confident enough to go over it, and trust your fingers and foot more than your brain!