How involved are you in your local scene?
How involved are you in your local scene?
Trying to get more discussion in here and I’m often curious whether people who take part in online kink discussions attend events and such
I was involved in the Boston scene up until 12 years ago. But, for reasons, I wound up moving to a small city in Australia for seven years that had no scene at all. Then, to a medium sized city in France for two years, which had a scene but I wasn't there long enough to really connect. I'm in Vancouver, BC right now, which has a scene. But I've got a kid and work and other stuff going on. I definitely support local community. It's where I got my start back in the late 90s. If you can, connect.
That’s fair, I’ve done the small city thing and I definitely know people who have to drop out for a few years because life gets busy and other things become more important
For my part, I run an event, attend several others and am a known member of my local leather and power exchange scenes
I live in a red town near the exact center of nowhere. Across the river is an equally small university town, which has 3 recurring events on fetlife. It's all underground because of the local Christian majority. I'm not even sure if that town has a gay bar.
One of the groups is exclusively for university students, which I am not. Another group meets at a bar, but the bus schedule prevents me from attending the entirety of it. Finally there is the munch, the only notable bdsm gathering within 50 miles. So far as I've seen, they don't organize play parties but rather commute across the state to a place so remote there's no cell reception.
Back around 2018, there was a munch in the red town. They disbanded because of low attendance or perhaps substance abuse or other elements. (There's something in the water here.)
I've never organized an event, but I've been to a few and met some interesting people. Now that I'm stuck in a town that's 5% of the size needed for a healthy kink scene (or even basic infrastructure) I'm riding the bus a lot and going to everything I can. I'm not in my 20s anymore. I'm feeling anxiety I didn't feel at my peak. Honestly, people in my area are (ఠఠ益ఠఠ) gross and that makes it difficult to find anyone I could have a relationship with, let alone a 24/7 dynamic.
Ope that sucks. And yeah low attendance is a serious plague on new events. When you start one you basically commit to a year or so of being stood up every month
I will say though, people find each other at all ages in this lifestyle. Yeah, being in your 20s makes it easier, I’m not going to act like being an attractive 20 something didn’t contribute to me getting my wife. But I’ve been making out with a hot 50 year old. My girlfriend was in her 30s when we met. And I have friends who I have immense respect for who got together after being widowed. Be yourself and find community where you can and you may find yourself surprised at what you find
I'm not - we did attend one event, they had a remarkably fantastic DJ, but it seemed insular and not friendly, we did see some rigging that looked like disinterested macrame, some flogging that was interesting, e-stim also interesting but overall just not really good for us, it's so very much about sex for us personally, and was a surprisingly unsexy scene (this is not a criticism just an observation - if it works for you it works).
That sounds great to me! At least you saw it. For me personally, vanilla sex is very difficult to enjoy, so if there's ever a chance to get whipped, choked, or whatever, I take it. Some cities have sex-positive clubs that do kink events involving sex, but maybe you're looking for a private party.