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Is too much self-awareness bad?

I have BPD and major anxiety disorder and depression, and mixed with living in rural America, a la flyover state, I don't get many opportunities to socialize face to face. I do what I can on through discord but sometimes it's not enough and sometimes I just think random stuff such as plans, sfw desires, tech stuff (computer guy) and whatever.

So in addition to my question is that, how can I fight my habitual emotional repression towards "non positive" emotions like sadness.

Thank you ahead of time for your responses, it means a lot.

PS, I'm doing therapy (mainly EMDR, bc trauma) and on Prozac and Buspar.

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