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I would like to know how it feels to be competent at a job - any job. In my four decades on this earth I still haven't managed to find out what I want to be when I grow up. I've had many jobs over the years but never ever felt like I was decent at any of them. They're usually the kinds of jobs people don't want to do so I'm decently job-secure despite my ineptitude.
I just want to say that paid employment doesn't need to be what defines you. A lot of people never 'find their passion' or 'follow their dream'. It's very ok to just work for money. You don't need to be a superstar at work. You can just enjoy the paycheck part of the job. Just do something to make money, that's fine. You probably underestimate the value of just showing up regularly, even if you think the quality of your work is below what you want, literally just showing up on time and doing the job is putting you ahead of at least half the people who do those jobs.
Thanks for your kind words! Very much appreciated. I do struggle with self esteem and valuing myself but this is more about feeling competent than confident. I don't need to be the best in my field or anything, but it'd be nice to have contributed at least something worthwhile other than just the everyday grind.
Ever heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect?
Sure, and impostor syndrome. But both of those are supposed to be transient, and people eventually ease into their roles and lose their doubts about their abilities. That never happened to me. I've also never stuck around anywhere long enough to get promoted above rank and file so I don't have a single worthwhile achievement to put on my CV for prospective future employers.
On top of that, I'm fairly sure my current job will not even exist in a year or 5 due to AI, so I'm already looking for a completely different alternative/field unrelated to my current one.
I've been going at my job for over 6 years now and I have turned down promotions because they would make me worse off in several respects. Most workers are "rank and file", by definition; we can't all be managers.
No one would work then. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞