I'm firmly in the "not very often" camp, and I think it's because I don't use any of the services mentioned, and I generally avoid the comment sections of most websites.
If you're seeing a lot of hate speech, maybe consider not visiting sites where you see hate speech? Ideally we'd solve the root problem, but I'm worried a lot of people are just feeding the trolls, which creates a positive hate speech feedback loop.
It really is about values and boundary setting. If you experience hate or toxicity irl or online you leave. If you choose to stay then your priority isn’t your well being.
Alternative perspective: encourage your friends to switch to different platforms. Here's a video by Naomi Brockwell about how to do that. This is more from a privacy perspective, but it can work for switching to other platforms as well.
You don't have to give up your friends to avoid bad platforms, you can eat your cake and have it too.