Why do people around me tend to increase their responsibility load (i.e. have children, become a manager, do charity, etc.) while I (30M) try to avoid it as much as I can?
Why do people around me tend to increase their responsibility load (i.e. have children, become a manager, do charity, etc.) while I (30M) try to avoid it as much as I can?
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They aren't thinking of it in terms of increasing responsibility. That is the cost of the decisions they are making, but it's not the benefit. Each of the things you mentioned have clear benefits (pay raise, biological drive, altruism). They are simply making decisions about when the benefits outweigh the costs.
I became a manager because I worked with shitty managers who sit on their ass and promote their friends. I wanted to change that.
I take on harder projects than my peers because I can handle it. It's easier for me to deal with the stress, than give it to a teammate who would absolutely struggle and lose 4 weekends trying to solve it.
I became a parent because I worked in the school system and taught kids without good families. I used to stay after school just to give these kids a positive influence before they get sent back to their shitty home.
I absolutely do not think about the stress of the added work, but instead focus on the results of my actions (or the results if I don't do it).
I became a parent because I worked in the school system and taught kids without good families. I used to stay after school just to give these kids a positive influence before they get sent back to their shitty home.
Don't take this as criticism, just trying to understand: What's the logic here? As a teacher without kids (for now), I feel like I'd have more to give to help my pupils if I don't have kids of my own.
Regardless, thank you both for the work that you do.
Thanks for doing what you do.
And I can see the confusion. I grew up in the ghetto, I also wasn't raised in a good environment. I have children and I'm in the process of adopting as well.