I'm a trans man. I didn't realize how broken men are
I'm a trans man. I didn't realize how broken men are
Before transitioning, I didn't receive short pat hugs or shake hands; I got deep, long hugs.
You're viewing a single thread.
Am I only the only one who thinks comes off like "men arent like women, and therefore broken"?
Not having to spend an hour discussing my feelings is actually one of the things I like about my friendships. I don't want long deep hugs, they make me uncomfortable. And I definitely don't want someone opening up to me about their life struggles. That's not the kind of friendship I like or want.
I guess that makes me broken!
And it's all perfectly fine to not want that.
The issue is there is a heavy expectation for all men to be like that. Many of us, me included, are not at all, and are often ridiculed for it.
I mean it does because those things only make you uncomfortable because you've been conditioned your entire life to feel that way just because you're a man.
Those things are basic human companionship.
So not only am I somehow fundamentallly broken, I've also been duped by society and I'm too stupid to even realize it?
You couldn't be any more insulting if you tried.
Eh, I think it is more the fact that men aren't willing to open up about shit when it is bothering them and they want to share. I don't want to have a 30 minute share session at the start of all conversations, but it should be normalized that when a close friend asks how you are that you can say "Honestly not good because of X, Y, and Z and this is how I feel" without being made to feel like a freak.
yup, you're, me too. and we're wrong for it.. lmao
As a human I have to say if you don't recognise the negative issues you suffer because of our long history of social problems and messy biology then you're absolutely delusional - men and women.
100% mate.
All my best friendships have been 99% ripping into each other and telling funny stories. Like I don't tell shitty stories about work because I lived it once and I don't want to live it again. No one else does either. Unless it's to vent about someone because I'm angry. But I do tell funny stories about work.
Having said that even in the most masculine environments when anyone has had an issue or been pushed too fair the guys always rally and pick them back up.
Day to day shit is your own problem. The once in a month or few months is our problem and I'm here for you.
You boss was mean to you. You want to bounce other careers around or see if I can find someone to hire you? No, well grow up everyone's boss is shit. Either leave or deal with it.
Your misses just cheated on you. Right come on I'll get the guys and we'll go to the pub, she's a cunt you're better off without her.
Also hand shakes are fucking great. I usually go for a shake and a quick hug. But the handshake is better.
Then we'll all be happier if you dump your emotions on someone else.
I find complaining to be toxic. Which is why this thread sucks so much. We're all just whining about each other.
@Rodeo interestingly, I'm learning a lot from this interaction. Like about how men normalize day to day misery and disconnection. So I'm very glad that this thread exists; thank you for being honest.
Hey at least you didn't try to call me broken.
I find it toxic when people go on and on about minor problems that are in no way relevant to the people in the conversation and there is no way they can help.
All it is doing is bringing unneeded negativity into an environment. That's toxic.
You want help? Yine I can help how? You want to ruin my free time when I'm trying to de-stress by going on about people and things that have nothing to do with me and I can't help? Go away.
@Wanderer thanks for sharing your thoughts.