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Work took everything I had and then some. Made a checklist of things to do before walking out the door. Then Covid hit. My spouse lost her job. I took a pay cut and got even more overloaded. By the time my spouse was able to work again I was barely functioning and hanging on by a thread that eventually snapped. SSA says I can perform simple tasks and follow simple instructions, therefore I am not disabled. That's the bar: simpleton. Doesn't matter how fucked up you are, if you clear that bar the US of A says you're good to go.
My therapist thinks I have a good shot at working through the trauma. Hell, he even suggested I shift careers into social work. But all of that takes time. And therefore money. I'm not likely to have either of those any time soon.
Barring a sudden heart attack or aneurism or something, I'm either going to starve in the streets or end up institutionalized. So I hear you, Blue Bear.
I feel you so much. After one year of covid mega stress I was burnt out. I was lucky enough to find a psychologist who was himself autistic and immediately began to teach me
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setting professional boundaries (you want this, you pay for it, end if discussion. Not this gaslighting bullshit of we already pay you to do that. No you don't. Programming wasn't in my job description, I'm IT goddamn. And if you want that you can accept that it takes me two months or hire someone who does it faster.)
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saying No.
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handling the psychopaths/ narcissists in my life. I. E. Grey Rock Methods etc.
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and had some truly great insights like apparently my remembering mechanism works much better when I collect trinkets, as if the memories from that day/week are stored in there. I now use a derivative of the Ioci Method and have an ever expanding shelf of trinkets in my brain, so I do not drive my spouse insane and Clutter the living room. This came much later, when I was feeling better.
Also EMDR (you need a therapist you can connect with. Without connection, it was just draining). I ended up doing it myself, from what I had cobbled together in books in the Library just the eye thing with almost closed eyes while thinking about my day for 20 minutes and I felt refreshed and able to tackle more tasks.
Working only mornings, going to bed for an hour or three, then late afternoon - the rest of the working day.
I found a job that was task oriented WFH with a small company, not time oriented. With experienced Management that knows how long a task should take. Psychopath Middle Management is a Scurge. But now I'm better I can even easily deal with these people.
Reducing near- screen (phone/tablet/etc) time to an hour per day. I got a TV again. Watching Netflix on the big screen was much better (also showed me + the family how boring most of Netflix really is but that's another discussion).
Regular excercise means just an hour or two of walking or biking, no sporty Sports required. The Gym is still a draining no fun zone.
Supplementing. With age our ability to absorb nutrients decreases. I do daily one vitamin-D 5000 to 10000, whatever is cheap; I also got a multi vitamin plus a Mg+Calcium pellet. Speaking of Age: this is just how I do it, not medical advice - Seeing a Doc for Bloodwork is a good idea if you can afford it.
Hope you get better...
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Play Mario as p2 with someone to blame. That buys a better world for all of us and likely room and board for you
Egging someone on to do something bad is still doing bad by proxy. Especially if this person just opened up and showed itself to be vulnerable.
You are a bad person. Do better.
I saw it as more dark humor than anything else. Bad taste? Possibly. OP posted a cartoon bear hanging from a noose, after all. Kinda goes with the theme.
If it makes you feel better, I'm in no position to act out any hero roles. Crippling executive dysfunction aside, I'm probably on enough lists already that the Orange SS would have no issue preemptively disappearing me.
strengthening ones own self-efficacy may be difficult but is doable. I hope you find a way out of your executive dysfunction. That's a bitch to get rid of. Wish you all the best!
I'm in a far worse situation
We're all living through our personal hells. I wish you the best.