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Holy fuck I wish could have this problem
It's never too late to start externalizing shame to protect what's left of your ego.
I just want to be able to eat food
That's a rough situation, I have a friend like that. Do they have you on TPN?
Thankfully, no. I actually can eat, it's just very not fun and there's like a 50/50 chance of throwing up. The doctors just keep telling me to change my diet like that'll solve everything (it won't, I tried).
Finding a doc that is actually interested in listening and thinking about you shouldn't be as hard as it is. The industry has their carrots and sticks all wrong imo, they're rewarded on quantity. At this point the best option is to be lucky, second best is to become an expert in your condition and do their thinking for them.
Currently working on the second option. I bet if money was taken out of the equation the industry would change pretty quick, but then the billionaires wouldn't get their precious yearly raise.