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ADHD Women Community Weekly Check-in - June 16-22: How Are You Doing?
Hello and sorry for the lack of posts lately, I've been enjoying time in the wilderness and off screens.
Please share whatever is coming up for you and don't hesitate to ask for support from fellow women with ADHD.
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ADHD Women Weekly Check-in June 2-8: How Are You Doing?
Feel free to share whatever comes up for you. We are here to build community and support each other!
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ADHD Women Community Weekly Check-in May 26-April 1 - How Are You Doing?
Please share whatever you feel like sharing with our community. Let us know how things are going :)
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ADHD Women Community Check-In May 19-25: How Are You Doing?
Please share what you want to share, ADHD-related or not.
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ADHD Women Community Check-In May 12-18: How Are You Doing?
Please share whatever you feel like sharing!
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ADHD Women Community Check-In May 5-11: How Are You Doing?
Hello, fellow ADHDers! What are you up to? Please share your adventures here :) Let's support each other!
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Why did men stop wearing high heels?
For generations they have signified femininity and glamour - but a pair of high heels was once an essential accessory for men.
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ADHD Women Community Check-In Apr 28-May 4: How Are You Doing?
How are you all doing? What's new - good or bad? Please share whatever you feel like sharing, ADHD-related or not.
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ADHD Women Community Check-In Apr 21-27: How Are You Doing?
What's happening, ladies? Share whatever you feel like sharing!
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ADHD Women Community Check-In Apr 14-21: How Are You Doing?
Please share whatever ails you - or maybe you have something to brag about! We're here for each other.
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In need of advice/perspective
tl;dr: My partner refuses to meet agreed upon cleaning goals and it's causing significant relationship issues. She's never blamed her ADHD, but I know it's a factor.
Is my ask (that she clean one uncommonly cleaned "chunk' of the house each week) unreasonable? Or rather, is my reaction to her not clearing this (very low, in my opinion) bar unwarranted?
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My partner and I are both women, both diagnosed with ADHD.
She doesn't work due to anxiety, so I have to support us financially 100%, but she agreed early in our relationship (long before either of us had been diagnosed) that she'd take care of the housekeeping. She does some, but our house has never felt "clean" or "tidy" to me.
I lost my job during covid, and was lucky enough to get on the unemployment train for a while which was a blessing because I was battling severe burnout.
As our savings neared depletion, the thought of re-entering the workforce was causing me massive depression, and when I was all but ready to just give up on everything, I asked her for help.
Just a part time job, or work from home, or anything to generate income to take the weight off my shoulders so I could try to develop some entry level coding skills and get a job I could be proud of.
She agreed, filled out a resume and browsed some job boards... and nothing came of it.
After a while, I asked her to at least sell a box of old Amiibos on ebay. Once again, she agreed and didn't follow through.
As the savings dried up, I was forced to get a shitty job that's (still) just barely paying the bills.
After a few weeks of working again, I brought up the cleaning thing in an argument. I mentioned how she agreed to but never helped out financially, so I quantified the cleaning and set a (very low) bar for her to cross. She told me it was reasonable and it would get done.
3 years later and she has yet to clear the bar and our relationship is only being held together by a few thin strands of codependency.
The bar: On top of her baseline (Dishes, laundry, kitchen, living room, bathroom, and meals 4 nights a week, typically frozen pizza or something else from the freezer section, give or take), I asked her to take on a "Project" once a week. Something in the house that's rarely cleaned, which roughly requires the effort it takes to clean and organize our small 2ft by 2ft pantry. So like an hour or so.
It's not happening.
She throws excuses at me left and right, but she's never blamed the ADHD. I've considered it though...
So what I'm coming here to ask... I know you don't know her specific case (we are both at mild to moderate ADHD), but does my request sound unreasonable? Should I try to be more understanding?
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Wife was just diagnosed
Hello all, I am a 39M whose wife (42F) was just diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve had a suspicion ever since our 6 year old was diagnosed and we started doing a deep dive into it and realizing a lot of the symptoms fit her. Even some of the memes from this community helped her to start looking into it herself. She is relieved to find out she’s not just ‘a disorganized slob’, that there is a reason for her struggles, but now the real work begins.
My question is: what do you wish your partner would have known/done for you? I want to be as supportive as possible and make sure I’m not contributing to any negative feelings, and help her find ways to build coping mechanisms. Just looking for any advice!
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Experiences of criticism in adults with ADHD: Inattentive behaviors are the most criticized followed by impulsivity in social settings
journals.plos.org Experiences of criticism in adults with ADHD: A qualitative studyPeople with ADHD are at high risk of receiving criticism from others, yet criticism has not been well researched in this population. This study aimed to provide a rich understanding of what experiences adults with ADHD traits have with criticism. As part of a larger study, 162 participants with ADHD...