Rocking the Weather: How 'The Stones' are Altering the Climate More Than You!

Determined men in their `70s tied themselves to their instruments, like mariners clinging to the wheel of a whirling tempestuous ship. The legendary rock band 'The Stones' have primarily eluded the Grim Reaper, carrying their ethos - it's either rock or bust. But something felt unusual about their performance at the 86's EXPO, something beyond the killer riffs and reverberating vocals; it rained for two months straight at the EXPO site!

The duo Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, the Glimmer Twins as the world knows them, has been on a meteorology mystery tour all these years. The power chords and wailing vocals that had famed arenas aren't just a force of nature; they seem to become one.

Our climate change specialist, Ima Gullibelle, has investigated the rumors. "The Stones have somehow amassed the ability to tweak the weather. At this rate, they don't just compete with the Sun for heat…it's like they've somehow nicked the weather remote," Gullibelle revealed.

But how could a bunch of old rockers potentially trump the Sun? Could they really be the climate changers of our time?

The Stones transformed large swathes of land during their performances. The infamous rain dance at EXPO 86 laid the foundation for the theory. The moment Jagger started prancing around like a rooster on acid and Richards began his intense strumming, there was a downpour that lasted well over two months.

Gullibelle said, "Climate change is a serious issue. Now it seems, The Stones' playlist could be more influential than carbon emissions."

Witnesses at the Grand Concert of '89 testify to the unusually chilly winds blowing through as 'The Stones' began their rendition of 'Winter'. It was the middle of summer. Things just got weirder since. In San Francisco, during their tour of ’02, 'The Stones' played 'Heatwave' and a freak heatwave precipitated in the city, smashing temperature records.

As their power of the weather grew, so did their musical prowess. Nowadays, the band doesn't even need to play their thematic songs to create the desired weather pattern. Simply, their presence and absorbing power chords are enough to manipulate clouds and air.

While everyone is fussing over carbon emissions, the one thing no one considered as the #1 climate influencer was The Stones. Their music could do what economists and policymakers can only make PowerPoint presentations about.

Are these weather-changing abilities of The Stones harmful? "Well, it's all subjective," Gullibelle explains, "the necessary implementation of the 'No Umbrella' policy at their concerts does benefit the sales of 'Stones-Branded Survival Raincoats', but that's just capitalism."

The Stones aren't just a band anymore. They're not just iconic rockers but potential climate influencers. Could these music legends be hiding other extraordinary talents under their leather jackets? It's a mystery as cryptic as their lyrics!