game patch notes be like

Pretty sure the children are throwing away their own shoes, at least if they're young enough

Strong Night Vale vibes

Sounds like an average patch in Dwarf Fortress. My favorite is "Stopped cats from randomly dying of alcohol overdose". The dev talked about it in the intro for this interview

There’s definitely been patches for The Sims that sound exactly like this.

• Wet wipes now update appropriately in the box at the reception

• Roger is no longer falling off the cliff and disappearing

• Some users found the trees too relaxing, they have now been replaced with bushes