would getting back with an ex be a bad idea?
would getting back with an ex be a bad idea?
my ex-boyfriend sam (19m) of a few years has been my longest relationship (as i’m still young). he ghosted me and i started to lose feelings for him. however, i still had hope.
he also “forgot” about me when he would give gifts to other people, wouldn’t mention me under “people he appreciates” but would mention everyone else, and wouldn’t even tell people abt me.
due to all this, i started to question actually being a lesbian who was only into guys because of comphet.
however, last night, when he finally saw my messages (he doesn’t use social media a lot), he apologized and said he should’ve done something other than ghost his gf. he agreed that we should break up, and said he was being this way due to mental health problems, and that if we got back together, he’d be a better bf.
he explained he still had feelings for me and would love to still be friends.
that’s when i realized that i had genuine feelings for him that were still there, not just comphet. i always loved him and felt sad when it seemed he didn’t love me the same way.
i understand he’s not ready for a relationship rn, and i think he should take his time. i also am not quite ready due to this being so recent and the fact that we haven’t done actual couple stuff in a while.
but after a while, when he gets better, hopefully we’ll still have feelings and both be good partners (better than we were then). after all, even if the not including me thing isn’t an excuse, the ghosting was due to poor mental health which he can’t control.
so i guess i’d also be biromantic with a preference for women.
i hope we can make this work >w<
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Like the other comment said, ghosting is not an excuse even with poor mental health. I’m about 6 years older than you and I know if I was having anxiety, for example, I would not ignore or abandon my girlfriend over it.
He can still try to make time for you, even if it’s not a lot, and then explain why he’s been less talkative rather than flat-out ignore you.
However, by what you said, Sam seems to acknowledge that and realizes he was wrong for it. That’s a start.
he also “forgot” about me when he would give gifts to other people, wouldn’t mention me under “people he appreciates” but would mention everyone else, and wouldn’t even tell people abt me.
This concerns me. The other stuff is bad enough even if he acknowledges it but I wouldn’t say he was ever a good BF regardless of mental health from this.
Not only should you wait until his mental health gets better, but for him to mature. He’s probably inexperienced with dating and emotionally immature at just 19.
Hope you find someone else in the meantime 💖 It seems he’s not meeting your needs and frankly wasn’t too loving to begin with. And yeah, try being friends but remember: Just because he’s a good friend doesn’t mean he’s a good boyfriend.
I’m feeling cute, enjoy these pictures I made!! (Seriously, they’re supposed to make you feel better, not be offended)