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Because shared VPNs are also used by malicious actors and some admins just don't care about dealing with that.
Applying the same argument one could say: Computers are also used by malicious actors and I just don't want to deal with that.
You can boil the logic down and apply it however you want. The fact is that different people have different levels of tolerance for bullshit and VPN users are a large source of it. TOR is also inherently harmless but exit nodes end up on banlists everywhere because malicious users use them to the point that exit nodes are pre-emptively banned in a lot of places because some people just don't wanna deal with it. The big email providers have a zero-tolerance policy for the same reason; if your domain misbehaves even once then you're on the shit-list forever because it's not worth playing whack-a-mole with malicious actors.
It is Tor, not TOR
Acronyms are typically uppercase, so TOR makes sense, even if they (Tor) don't format it that way.
Either way is fine though, what a strange thing to correct someone on tbh.
I guess you are unfamiliar with the concept of 'difference in kind', or you are and you are using it in bad faith to make a reductionist point.