I'm going to run a quick test and see if I can't answer a couple of those.
Edit:
Results:
I posted two comments to this thread and then deleted one of them. When I checked the database entries corresponding to this post, the comment I deleted is still in the comments table but there is a delete flag set after I deleted it.
So, it appears that deleting a comment just toggles a "deleted" flag in the database. It seems to be intentional as I'm able to undelete the comment from the Lemmy UI.
I deleted and undeleted a post on my own instance, and yes, posts are treated the same: delete flag with the original post still available in the DB.
It's also worth noting that when a comment is removed by a moderator, the comment shows in the modlog. Again, I believe this is intentional.
@TheBaldness (or anyone, really): If you could, can you add a new comment to this post and then delete it? My instance would be a federated one to yours, so I can check the DB to see if it handles federated comments the same as one locally. I'm assuming that it does.