Awareness means nothing when you're living under capitalism

The closest I ever came to suicide was when I was unemployed, living with my parents, and had about $150 left in my bank account. I was too embarrassed to ask for money, and too ashamed to even ask for a loan. My parents would not have judged me at all, but I was too proud to admit I had no money. Capitalism had me conditioned to believe that if I wasn't productive I wasn't worth keeping alive. Never again.