tails: A Place for Mastodon Posts

Image description: Professional soccer player holding up a new sports shoe. The shoe is dark beige, the base pink, then green. It looks like a sandwich with tomatoes and lettuce

--- (Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added by community mod) Pirated for Alt Text

Image description: the yaer was Two Thousand and twenty-four. I took a puff of my Electronic-Cigarette, inhaling the vapours. my mobile terminal buzzed in my pocket, a flat slab of microchips and glossy touchscreen. I ignored it....... probably another Electronic-Mail

--- (Originally published on corteximplant.com: 2024-05-23) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Gravestone for an English teacher that reads: Here lies (not "lays") Billee Woody Robbins Reed

--- (Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: a screenshot of the GNOME calculator. there is an error dialog over it saying "You are permanently banned from Calculator"

--- (Originally published earlier today on chadthundercock.com) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas 1. Panel: Little Red Riding Hood is sitting in front of a documentary camera. Someone off-camera asks, "So, you were the one who found the wolf at your grandmother's?" 2. Panel: The big bad wolf is also sitting in front of a camera sharing his side of the story. He says, "Listen, I have a thing for older broads, ok?" 3. Panel: Someone off-camera asks, "So, when you say you ATE grandma-" The big bad wolf interrupts them, "Listen, I know how to please a woman." 4. Panel: Back to Little Red Riding Hood. She crying and says, "Years of therapy... TURN OFF THE CAMERA!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-05-12) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Whisper and Explosion 2 is even better. The whispers and explosions happen at the SAME TIME! Secret Panel HERE 💥 https://tapas.io/episode/3005249

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: An electric car, 1912

--- (Originally published on toot.wales: 2024-03-14) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

I swear to god if you have a second phase, I'm calling the cops. Secret Panel HERE 🩹 https://tapas.io/episode/2894856

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-04-29) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Ad for Bovril. It's a painting done in creams, browns, and pale yellows. Makes me think of Spain in the evening. Shows a bottle of the product. Shows a cow with large horns, a tear running down its cheek. The caption is "Alas, my poor brother"

--- (Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-05-01) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Based on this discovery, we can surmise that this ancient civilization had absolutely no idea how to make proper pots. Secret Panel HERE 🍯 https://tapas.io/episode/3158408

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(edgy title added by lemmy community mod)

Image description: A screenshot of suggestions for a small Rust project, which includes a basic calculator, a game engine, and an operating system.

--- (Originally published on wetdry.world: 2024-04-21) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod)

Image description: Top: Four smoking pipes are making a conference call. They ask "Hellos, is Danny Bay there?" Bottom: Someone answers the phone and responds "Could I ask who's calling?"

--- (Originally published earlier today on aus.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. Panel: The vampire enters the room while the witch and the black cat (lord Nibbles) are sitting on the couch watching TV. The vampire says, "You guys, the castle is a mess!" 2. He continues, "There are rotting skulls everywhere from your stupid rituals!" 3. The witch replies, "And you said you'd clean up after your midnight snacks!" 4. A man is heavily bleeding and crawling out of the house. He says "No worries, I'll let myself out!"

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: An empty brown beer bottle with a label reading CYBER PUNK. Its logo is a split-in-two Terminator-style metal skull with a cluster of hops inside of it. It was photographed in the flat of Bruce Sterling and Jasmina Tesanovic in Turin, Italy. Parts of the flat are visible in the background.

--- (Originally published earlier today on mamot.fr) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod

Image description: Text reads: I really miss Prince so l drew a mustache on Rihanna. Below is a photo of an issue of Glamour Magazine with Rhianna’s face on the cover. Someone has penned a fine moustache on her.

--- (Originally published on aus.social: 2024-04-13) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod)

Image description: A graph of the number of Ks in an Ultra HD 4K TV (2018) and the original Macintosh 128K (1984). The original Macintosh obviously has more Ks than the 4K TV.

--- (Originally published on wetdry.world: 2024-04-11) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Well that settles it. Bad thoughts and bad sleep it is. Secret Panel HERE 🧠 https://tapas.io/episode/2877732

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

\- How to send emails like pro https://www.instagram.com/p/CSo5B5UjkXm/?hl=en

Image description: HOW TO SEND EMAILS: STEP 2: READ EMAIL. STEP 1: TYPE EMAIL.. 500 TIMES BEFORE SENDING. STEP 3: SEND EMAIL. STEP 4: GO TO "SENT FOLDER" AND READ MAIL AGAIN FROM THE RECEIVERS PERSPECTIVE. Comic by AMBYCOMICS

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-04-14) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod)

Image description: 4 panel comic (Yonkoma) by War and Peas 1. Panel: A killer clown hides behind a bush. A person is coming closer. The killer clown goes, "Muahaha, my next victim!" 2. Panel: The clown jumps up from the bush is surprised that an old lady is standing in front of him: "MOM!" 3. Panel: He goes, "You turned into a killer clown? You look ridiculous!" 4. Panel: She points at another person looking up from a bush and goes, "Look at Cheryl's son! That's a good looking murderer!" The good-looking murderer from the other bush goes "'sup!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-28) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: A bright green Northern Emerald-Toucanet with blue face and colorful beak, looking left.

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: optical illusion of two women laying belly to belly in arch formation on the beach

--- (Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-03-28) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: dark blue sky meme with the words written in white "Thank you for contacting the abyss your scream is very important to us "

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.au) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

I know you've said you don't want them on twenty times now, but I think the twenty-first time is the charm. Secret Panel HERE 😤 https://tapas.io/episode/3136815

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

--- (Originally published on mastodon.world: 2024-03-14) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Top view of a pie on a wooden table. A slice has been cut and removed. Some almond are scattered around and a glass of milk sits on the table too. Overlaid text reads: A pie is just a pie-chart of how much pie is left. Happy Pi Day!

--- (Originally published earlier today on aus.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Cartoon by War and Peas: A person stands on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. There's a smal gate with a sign that says "Less than 100k followers". NExt to it is a bigger, more beautiful gate that reads "More than 100k followers"

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Never be relatable around your boss. Secret Panel HERE ☕ https://tapas.io/episode/2640963

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod). Post on Mastodon has 2 images (click the Fedi-Link to see both). Original text: For a co-worker.

Image description: A photo of a medication box for Spice melange 60 straws. The box has a blue sky and sand dune image, with warnings. CAUTION MAY CAUSE PERMANENT IRIS AND SCLERA DISCOLOURATION and PRESCIENCE ENHANCER RESULTS WILL VARY.

--- (Originally published on bitbang.social: 2024-03-11) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy by community mod)

Image description: Chris Rock, holding up a fist: CHRIS ROCK Chris Rock holding out his hand: CHRIS PAPER Chris Rock holding fingers in V shape: CHRIS SCISSORS

--- (Originally published on aus.social: 2024-03-11) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas: 1. Panel: A little girl summoned a demon. The demon goes, "Feed me fresh souls!" 2. Panel: The girl answers "I only have tea." 3. Panel: "It's ginger lemon." 4. Panel: The demon goes, "Tea is fine, too!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-10) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy)

Image description: Cars in action movies: Still works after being shot 1000 times Cars in horror movies: Can't even start

--- (Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

orig txt: PHP is still better than any JS 👇😂 credit https://turnoff.us/ #php #programming #development

Image description: This comic hilariously compares PHP and bananas:

1. Can you eat it? Yes to the banana, no to PHP (unless you're really determined).
2. Can it prevent cramps? Banana wins again! Not sure about PHP...
3. Is it a great programming language? Well, that depends on who you ask...

TL;DR: Banana Triumphs!

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀 Secret Panel HERE 😂 https://tapas.io/episode/2619139

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Six eggs mourning the death of another one by having been fried.

--- (Originally published earlier today on swiss.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: specialty baby crib designed to fit in the corner of the room

--- (Originally published on beige.party: 2024-03-05) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy)

Image description: just a cat posing with tiny little plastic hands where her paws go

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-07) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: Uniquely Canadian words that confuse the word: soaker, toonie, deke, kerfuffle, two-four, double-double, keener, pop, klicks, all-dressed, chinook

--- (Originally published earlier today on ohai.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

(title added for lemmy). Today, March 7, in 1992, Dr. Dana Scully and FBI agent Fox Mulder work on their first case together, traveling to northwest Oregon to investigate potential alien abductions (The X-Files, s01e01 “Pilot”, 1993) \#TV #Television #XFiles #TheXFiles

Image description: A man and woman drive in a car. The man speaks to the woman, who looks skeptical

--- (Originally published earlier today on xoxo.zone) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.