Hello, I want to self host an instance so I'm only beholden to myself and the military forces that watch all. I only have one rule, and don't care much for moat things, but I'd like to create safe and friendly place for people like me
That is actually somewhat less of an issue now that bans and content removal are federating. Kbin is the easiest to abuse at the moment, but, luckily, there aren't many instances of it.
"Less" is still not "gone" unfortunately. You do still have to be very vigilant because federation from unknown instances intentionally spreading that stuff can and will end up getting garbage on to your server's hard drive that you might not even notice.
As I understand it lemmy caches data from other instances you/your users utilize as part of federation which means it requires a fair bit of storage to operate and potentially sketchy data could be synced onto your hardware completely unbeknownst to you.
It depends on the country you're in I guess. In Germany, and other countries as well I guess, you're not liable for stuff others people post on your platform as long as you react to reports and actually remove that shit when it's brought to your attention. You don't have to look at your instances media folder 24/7