Daily Discussion Thread: Thu 07 Sep 2023
Daily Discussion Thread: Thu 07 Sep 2023
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So I got a lot of upvotes for my request for you all to help the many organisations ready willing and able to accept your support. But no comments. Someone has downvoted a lot of comments, like gone through my profile clicking. I mean it's very petty but this is the crap we endure and it's often after tv programs like the one which aired the other night. I won't reference it but my family members watched and it was a bit of a witch hunt. Now I have to waste time I should be chilling out in writing about it, challenging the garbage with family.
Racism gets squashed and called out for very good reason, but transphobes are allowed "an opinion" and people do not much to help. Getting my pronouns right will not help my friend obtain full time work. Being an "ally" means fighting alongside us in my opinion. The organisations will have much more measured dialogue, but I don't represent any of them. I volunteer with one of them, but I'm not allowed to speak on their behalf and am not bound by the same codes of ethics their paid staff are. I can't change this thing about myself any more than someone can change their heritage. Would you call someone out for saying disparaging things about a Yinnar man with very pale skin like one of my friends?
It's a serious issue world wide and people calling themselves "allies" just comes across as them feeling sorry for us a lot of the time. People still think we have a choice in the matter but the reality is you either allow yourself the incredible personal honesty required in the face of discrimination or you slowly die. 37% of young transgender people have attempted suicide, that's just the young ones who have been surveyed. but many many of us spend years thinking about it before diagnosis. Ask me how I know?
So, no one commented on my post about helping my community. I think I gave very clear options. Is everyone just going to sit on their hands? Plenty of upvotes but you see why I say people are all talk. I give people options to make a real difference and it's crickets.
I'm not angry or disappointed and this is not attacking anyone, we all have capacities and I don't expect people to drop everything to help. I wish I didn't need to have to explain all this stuff, but I feel obligated to. And just so you're aware, I was a volunteer being realising I was trans. I recognised something needed to be done and stepped up. I'm done, I have to go to work. Thx for reading... especially my downvoter, wasting your time is a privilege.
Nah.
You don't get to just blanket admonish us like that.
You have no idea what we do or don't do to support people who are trans. You have no idea if we are sitting on our hands. You have no idea if we are "all talk".
Trans struggle isn't the only struggle going on right now.
Trans issues aren't the number one priority for everyone.
You aren't angry, disappointed, or on the attack? You don't want us to drop everything to comment, volunteer or donate?
Then why did you post this diatribe?
Someone said "we want to help, how can we help?" I posted a quite thorough explanation of how to help but heard nothing back. I'm allowed to post my reaction to that. But now I'm the arsehole? I expected at least some discourse honestly.
I support you and the Trans community endlessly, but I cannot safely volunteer at those organisations nor put myself within the Trans community. I fear my ex is there, somewhere, and I know they transitioned (mtf) after we broke up; they raped, gaslit, and abused me in every way imaginable for 8 years. I cannot be a volunteer I'm sorry, but I'll be here supporting your journey, offsetting every downvote you get. You are amazing, and resilient, strong for posting this in the face of constant micro-aggressions and discriminations. You have my love always. I'm sorry I cannot do more than be a keyboard warrior for you.
I get that totally, thanks hun. Fuck that person in particular. I too fear a lot of what I should be able to call safe spaces. ie smith st. My abusers party there a lot.
I get you're angry and frightened - and with good bloody reason - but that post didn't invite commentary. Anyone who signed up new for those org would have done so off lemmy. Anyone who already works with them wouldn't have commented about it - that's rather ironically virtue signalling. There was literally nothing that required further discussion.
You're complaining about a lack of visibility that wasn't called for.
I'm not frightened, I refuse to live in fear of bigots. I don't agree with what you've written. I have a right to vent here too. If you were targeted you too would ne left feeling alienated if you felt no one could bother to respond. And almost no one has.
Venting's fine, we all do it, but it's like there's a huge chunk of the conversation you're having that's missing to the DT.
Ok what most peeps on the thread see:
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Cunt keeps gunning for your arse.
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Nath trying to work out who they are and deal with them
That's one thing.
Then
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You post some good trans resources / ways to help the comm for anyone interested in supporting peeps after a shitty fucking hit piece by MSM. Awesomesauce
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You..yelling at no one responding to a post that didn't call for response and had meaningful action leading out and away from the discussion thread entirely? wait, what?
Leave it out will ya? ffs. everyone is a freaking expert. caio everyone and have a nice life. getting annoyed with the bullying now. I'll journal somewhere else.
ok no.
You're obviously going through some shit but we are not your punching bags and our refusal to be such is not bullying.
I'm the happiest I've ever been thanks.
I vaguely remember you said you sometimes feel and act like a teenage girl. Would you like us to see you as a teenage girl, or a woman in her (iirc) 50s? That will make a difference in our responses and expectations. In other words, should we always take your words seriously or should we expect that sometimes you will lash out a bit because of, understandably, hormonal fluctuations? I think setting expectations will be helpful for everyone here.
Thanks for asking and being considerate, but I'm off. So there's no real need to be more specific here, but this isn't too different to how I'd have responded to similar exchanges well before my transition. The transphobe won in the end, they can stop reading about the most wonderful journey I'm having. I hope they find a resolution to their bitterness. I thank YOU, Bacon for all of your breakfasts and more so for reaching out earlier in the year when reddit went cold. It's not personal, I just leave places when I stop enjoying them and I've stopped enjoying this place.
Also, I do understand that I'm probably in the wrong today, I'm happy to admit that emotional outbursts are not commonplace here and the mood is generally pretty light. So apologies to anyone who took offense. It's difficult being marginalised and that didn't begin with being trans, I've been teased for one reason or another most of my life. Too smart, ginger, alternative, queer, small, outspoken, activist and now trans. I'm kind of used to it, it's made me resilient and to know when enough is enough also. I'll miss some of the people and wish everyone the best honestly and I hope I haven't discouraged anyone from being good to my community. I am an active member of a group who only want good outcomes for us all and my volunteer work has had tangible results today. I'm not upset or annoyed, but there are descrepencies in the way bigotry is dealt with online. It's definitely very less of an issue on this forum.
So long, and thanks for the all the fish.
Ah well, I hope you’ll find happiness wherever you go.
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so many many big hugs,
it's so hard to work for freedoms and rights and better lives, and at the end of a week we are exhausted and we see no change
and it's perfectly right to be angry , but be angry at the abusers
there are so many things in society that need changing, so many people who need help, not just here but all over the world
no one can do it all, not even the most powerful people in the world can do it all, they can barely do anything
but together if we all do something, if we do anything, then the world will be a better place
I'm not angry with anyone here. Just left feeling alienated. The mods have been great. I think my point is valid and I'm definitely not the only trans person who feels like this. This was my original point about allies made kinda clear, many of feel like this honestly. I understand and stated I understand most people are already at capacity. But just getting people's pronouns right while nice and respectful isn't doing much either and we've had to fight for that. I can't keep bitching here though, this whole exchange has made me realise I don't care for this place as much I once did. The fact is I'm the only person who is openly talking about being trans here and someone keeps downvoting ONLY my content. See above.
Maybe you are the only trans person here.
I'm not, but this was a continuation of my journey's journal from the old dt. I like to publish to a small "normal" audience ie not preaching to the choir,. to gauge people's response. I got bullied by pilk, which is fucking typical. shut up woman, you're not entitled to point out how you're feeling and then two people suggesting maybe I'm of behaving like a teenage girl, see where I'm going here? Hey, how can we be more understanding and totally condescending at the same time, woman. You're irrational. Don't do that, men are talking, I know this was raise ire, Bacon was trying to be nice and my response to him was nice. But I'm not a black and white copy of a trans women in early transition. But people will use this whole exchange of an example of how trans girls and women just complain. So fuck it. I'll go before I really waste time getting worked up over things which aren't worth it. Taleya got shitty with me, (now blocked) and suggested in a pm, maybe what I'm going through is fucking with my head a bit. it's the complete opposite and the whole affair could have been ignored honestly . this is hardly my safe space or some haven, it's been quite ok, but the shine is off, people are behaving exactly like they did on reddit, all fucking talk and then brigading when called out for it. YOU on the other hand, have been nothing but aweseome. I like to write, but losing a space to journal is not a big deal at all. I'm kind of happy to be moving on. While it's sort of ok here, it's just another online forum with people from different walks of life. I'll find somewhere else. Thanks Seagoon, from way back you've been a gem <3
Sorry Hongo, you have not been brigaded. You have lost your shit over one person downvoting you; I concede it may be bc you post Trans related stuff but I have been downvoted for posting about getting rawdogged, my poems have been downvoted... it's Lemmy, the votes here mean even less than they did on Reddit. I understand that to you it feels targeted and part of the systematic discrimination you face on the daily. Pilk was not bullying you, he was pointing out the hypocrisy of your post admonishing us bc you only got insanely upvoted but no comments. Taleya is right; no one is going to virtue signal, you received a metric fuckton of upvotes bc we support you.
Idk what you expected. We're not transphobes.
But you're giving me the ick bc you're acting like we owe you all of our time and energy just because you're trans and marginalised. No.
You're acting exactly like my ex. Go touch grass.
Someone went through and downvoted all my comments. Like way way back, after my letter to you all suggesting ways to help. Fuck your ex, seriously, what they did is awful. But I'm nothing like them and as it turns out nothing like many of you either. How I feel may not be anyone else's reality, but I should be able to express it. I should of course also accept the consequences for misunderstandings I cause and I have. I'm done. I'm copying my journals and fucking off. It's been mostly nice so no regrets. We're never all going to get along. I'm really sorry I reminded you of your ex though, that's fallen way below your expectations and I wish I could take that back somehow, but I can't. ciao bella and all the very best with your hunting for work and life in general.
You remind me of my ex because you talk past all of our points, argue with a strawman, and assume we are all bigoted dicks. We just don't like being attacked for no fucking reason.
You talk about these rights like we aren't allies, or don't support you, and that you must convince us your cause is the only cause to support.
We are already on your side, you were preaching to the choir. You get upvoted to the point that ONE downvote per post means less than nothing. But you have one hater, and have discovered that being Trans doesn't inherently and automatically make you a good person. You martyred yourself, we didn't and are not pushing you out of here. You are making that decision.
If you don't want to read what we wrote, and have some introspection about your behaviour and how you treat us, then go. I, personally, have been nothing but supportive of you. I have seen other DTers be nothing but the same. You threw that in our faces and expect us to grovel at your feet for your forgiveness.
I upset at this whole fiasco, because I believe in you and your journey. I wish you well, Hongo, I hope you find happiness and peace.
To be honest I'm starting to think the reactions you're getting have nothing to do with being trans and everything to do with your behaviour.
Are you really only just starting to think that?
hey, internet is a slice of people, not the whole pie, and usually wildly outta char. You gotta cut that a lot of slack
(edit: Also I have a developed brain and actually just walked away from this bs thread yesterday lol it was only the alert to my nick that made me see the wall of text attack fest this morning)
precious