It was never about finishing the thing. Forgive yourself for that.
It was never about finishing the thing. Forgive yourself for that.
What follows is a repost (as a thread) what I wrote not too long ago (as a comment) because it bears repeating. Many of us struggle with task completion and carry around a ton of grief and guilt because of it. HOWEVER, we should reframe all of that, which this post is a reminder to try to do. Good luck, everyone.
This Twitter thread was recently posted to reddit. You decide whether it's insightful, depressing, or both. Excerpts (highlights are mine):
Modern life consists of *tasks*. A never-ending series of clearly-defined simple-to-achieve Things. To. Do.
Not problems to solve, questions to answer, ideas to have, dances to learn, or universes to imagine.
Tasks. To complete.It's not simple to pay a bill. It's not simple to call a support line. It's not simple to mail something to something. It's not simple to do any of the billion simple things we are each expected to do every day.
And if you have ADHD, there is no reward. Only lack of punishment.Think about that. ADHD people who heal their trauma and their relationship to panic and anxiety and shame *suddenly find themselves unable to do their jobs or focus on their responsibilities*. Why?
Because fear was all that was motivating them. They have to relearn how to want.
This part is, for me at least, the most uplifting:
Let's go back to that trail of half-finished art projects. Do you know why you didn't finish them?
Because there's nothing more there for you to learn.
That's it. Why would you finish them?Your projects are your way of asking the universe a question, and then digging and digging and digging until the universe answers.
You are motivated by curiosity, and that is a blessed gift, not a source of shame. Your unfinished work is the testament to your growth.Those aren't abandoned projects -- those are the remaining scaffolds from the the space ships that they launched.
It was never about finishing the thing. Forgive yourself for that.
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Okay, but what about all the unfinished projects I have at work? I feel nonstop stress about nearly finished documents I was supposed to have finished weeks ago. It keeps piling and I wonder if maybe I'm not cut out for it. Maybe I need a manual labor job instead of an engineering role. I can go out on my lunch break and run 3 miles or spend endless hours picking up trash off my street, but when I sit down to work I'll do anything but.
I sympathise; this also happens to me. It's true we don't always have the luxury of leaving a project when it no longer holds interest -- especially at work. And yes, the harsh but ideal solution is to find a job that supports an ever curious mind ... which is obviously extremely difficult to achieve in practice. You're not the first to express an affinity for monotone tasks (running, picking up litter, washing dishes) -- I think it lets us get into a zen or spaced-out state where we "just do". If only washing dishes were as lucrative as an engineering position!
Any chance you can apply some "agile" methodologies to your engineering role? My point is, if you work on a series of tasks with a narrow scope and an imminent deadline, that might be more overcomeable (yes, that's a word ... now) than having fewer, larger projects that seemingly drag out endlessly. You know, get the drop on your eventually dwindling motivation by being done before that even has time to kick in.