It's self care. It's okay to have leisure time, in fact it's normal and human and healthy. Do your best to quell those self sabotaging thoughts and enjoy! You're allowed to enjoy things guilt-free, but if you require permission then it is granted 😂
I think you’ve just got to come to terms with that it’s not a waste of time and just gradually change your viewpoint on things.
You’re having some recreational time to yourself, would you feel any different if you read a book, listened to a podcast, movie or watched tv or did something socially?
I often feel like I'm "not allowed" to do nothing, especially when there is housework or similar I "should" be doing. I feel enormous guilt at the "wasted time," even though it's actually really important. My parents especially would have frowned at the periodic inactivity, but they aren't living my life.