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How do you connect with people and make friends without social media?

I'm struggling to figure out how to make friends without having Instagram or any other social media. I have discord but don't use it much. I see all my acquaintances in discord channels and sharing Instagram posts and stuff. It's already hard for me to make friends, but I feel like not having any of the traditional social media means I'm not included in any of that stuff.

Do you just accept that Instagram and shit are the way people interact and use it?


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  • You need to find people that share a common interest with you, like a hobby or sport. That way there is some activity that you can do with them instead of just keeping in touch via social media. I have a regular casual basketball group that I literally don’t interact with online except when scheduling pickup games, but when we do meet up to play, we hang out over dinner afterwards. Same with another set of people that I meet during happy hours in my career field.

    • I guess that's just not what I'm looking for. I have a couple people I do activities with. But that's not really a connection. I don't know. I guess I'm just depressed, but it's more than just that. I need some kind of lasting and consistent human connection.

      • It takes time to build friendships. If you meet people for an activity that's a start, but if you don't feel like any of them are friend material (or they're too busy) you need to branch out. Try finding a larger/different group that does that activity, or better yet, try out something else.

        Volunteering tends to be a great starting point.

        Friendships often start with a leap of faith of sorts - you hang out in a given context, and at some point somebody takes the next step (wanna grab a beer/grab lunch/come for dinner/go to the game/whatever)

        You kind of do things that are a bit ahead of your current level of friendship, and then if it works out you've managed to upgrade.