If you knew you were going to get Alzheimer’s at 65 would you have kids?
If you knew you were going to get Alzheimer’s at 65 would you have kids?
This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.
I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.
It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.
What do you think?
Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.
I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.
As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.
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I lost my grandmother and dad to Alzheimer's. I feel like it's probably in my future, as well. It's a miserable disease that makes me question a lot of end-care practices and my wife & I are absolutely going to have some strategies in place, but to answer your question we already have 3 beautiful children that I can't imagine life without (pretty sure there's an Alzheimer's joke in there, somewhere). I certainly don't want to put them through what I saw with my Dad, but I also wouldn't want to have missed out on all the wonderful experiences I've had/will have with them on account of a "what if".
Ultimately, the choice is yours to make but you're clearly putting a lot of worthwhile thought into it and I'm sure whatever you decide will be the best choice for you. I'm sorry about your dad & sister, and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.
That means a lot. Thank you. ❤️