Lustery POV - Compulsory Sexuality and Why I’m No Longer Trying to Fix My Libido by Ella Dorval Hall
Lustery POV - Compulsory Sexuality and Why I’m No Longer Trying to Fix My Libido by Ella Dorval Hall
Social definitions of not wanting enough sex or wanting too much sex are preventing us from focusing on the pleasure and intimacy we do enjoy – not focusing on “fixing” my libido has made me feel better about myself and my sex life.
I thought this was a pretty good article that further emphasizes how much of a spectrum sexuality is, and how there is no one size fits all when it comes to sex.
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It's a really good article with a really important message, but I can't help but feel that it leaves some questions unanswered. I'm glad she found something that works for her relationship, but what is to be done about high-libido partners?
Thats a good point, its definitely a beneficial message to spread to individuals who might be grappling with their sex drive, but it really doesn't address the issues that arise with mismatched libidos in a relationship.
Personally what I've found helpful as someone with a higher libido than my wife is that I let her be the initiator for anytime we will have sex together, otherwise I'll masturbate. It took a bit of a shift in my thinking as for most of my sexually active life masturbation had been 1. Find porn, 2. jerk off until I cum, 3. continue on with my day, however I've found that its much more meaningful to treat it more like when I have sex with a partner. By focusing more on me, and what feels good to me, and not just trying to get through it to the orgasm has made it a much better way for me to bridge the times between having sex with my wife. This has lead to me feeling better fulfilled, and she doesnt feel pressured to have sex when she doesnt want to since I'm not going crazy between the times we fuck. Obviously this may not work for everyone but I've certainly found that its helped both of us.