If you want to host something on a Raspberry Pi, you should consider using literally any other piece of hardware

There are a lot of reasons not to give them your money. They’re assholes to the maker community and they openly talk shit on a lot of their customer base.

Citation needed, Pi's are just a single member of the broader SBC market. They are great for a lot of projects, especially for beginners who are their primary market, or those unfamiliar with Linux systems.

It’s just not a spectacular option for hosting. In order to get a Rpi competitive with even the shittiest laptop from 7 years ago, you’re going to end up spending more than you would spend on a decent laptop from 7 years ago.

Citation needed, currently for what I use my Pi's for, they are massive overkill. A laptop has WAY more breakable, and less repairable parts. A pi is a SBC, nothing I don't need. I don't want a screen, I don't want a keyboard, I don't want an ancient battery that is probably bloated from being plugged in all the time, and I absolutely do not want a fan. Honestly the Pi zero is overkill for most of my stuff, I just do actually want a wired network port. Your measure of "competitive" is extremely flawed, because you assume the only thing a Pi is useful for is it's raw number crunching power when that's not at all what they are marketed towards. In all honesty, I'd love to see a laptop that was even 50% as good a a Pi, but for that weight and size you're looking almost entirely at used phones, whose OS is significantly more locked down. Can't exactly run Docker on Android, let alone dealing with running servers over wifi.

If it is a computer that turns on, it will likely function orders of magnitude better than an Rpi and won’t bind you to ARM architecture. My entire hosting setup was pulled out of a recycling pile for free. Install ubuntu/ubuntu server and enjoy yourself.

How could I mount a laptop to my garage door for presence detection of which car is coming and going? Would be kind of an eyesore wouldn't you think, without even mentioning the weight problems. Laptops are massive compared to a Pi. For your point on ARM specifically, that's a feature my friend. Alternative cpu architectures are pretty interesting, and I personally have been an avid RISC-V follower for years now, and am absolutely thrilled to bits waiting for a standardized RV solution like the Pi. How lucky of you to just be given everything for free, thanks for taking e-waste out of the landfills for a little while I guess. Most of us have to buy the products we use, maybe getting something from a friend once in a while.

If you intend on spending any amount of money on this hobby, I cannot express enough how much I recommend against any of that money going toward a Raspberry Pi.

What do you recommend instead?