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Make sure my wife is on top of our finances as possible and figure out and start disability paperwork and direction for her to take to try and survive.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
It is what it is but I sure hope I don't go before her as she is massively screwed at that point.
Same boat here. My spouse has numerous health issues that are mostly manageable, but the physical limitations make employment difficult and the Medicaid health plans are such as PITA to deal with that they may as well not be there. My spouse has extremely low self-esteem beat into them since childhood by an asshole stepfather (that over two decades I've only minimally been able to improve), and thus no drive to fight for the help that is needed. Me going would likely mean the end for both of us.
Funny because my wife's dad (its her actual one, well as far as we know) was sorta a misogynist and she to has esteem issues. We have been together for awhile so not as bad but it never completely goes away. Curiously when we dated I recognized her dad was sorta like my mom who myself and my siblings thought was just awful but admittedly, given a choice, its worse for it to be the dad. Its a very weird situation for me because on my own I have done very well education and job wise. So well that as a family we do decently if not high on the hog (which is really a big deal given the expenses). All the same it would take so little to fall apart mainly due to expenses. Right now Im unemployed (was let go mid late september which I find is a really bad time just before a crazy pres election that goes into holidays) and between looking for work im constantly trying to figure out how long we can go without me working. We are getting older and when I do the math on retirement its not going to work. I dunno again its so weird because im simultaneously really successful and yet really..... well you know.