I do have an ADHD diagnosis but the last time they tried to put me on meds I was a nervous wreck and always crying, but really i'm not sure if that was the meds or other problems i was having at that time
A lot of us have spent our lives masking and suppressing other issues because we were told that all of these issues were due to some kind of inherent badness. "you're so full of capability, if only you weren't so fucking lazy" - on repeat, for years, from everyone you love and trust.
It fucks you up. And when you realize that if literally anyone in your life had taken a step back and helped you get the actual tools you needed (often medication, and occupational therapy) you get so sad and angry at all the waste and internalized self-hatred.
I wasn't diagnosed until after I'd flamed out my first couple semesters at college. First time I took medication after being diagnosed I cried. It's taken more than a decade of therapy to undo most of the damage.
You're a plant, and capitalism is a great fire. By pulling yourself up by the roots, you're exposing yourself to the great fire, instead of hiding in the dark underground.