Freeze Peach Patriots

let me tell you i am literally like jesus

i mean hear me out i am constantly battling the devil and Hes always trying to take ahold of me and lead me astray its like He knows im a threat to His evil plans and Hell stop at nothing to get me

for example

He tries to get ahold of me when im at the grocery store He tries to make me go down the snack aisle and im just there for some bread and eggs and here comes the devil whispering in my ear telling me to get cupcakes again

also whenever my hot cousin visits the devil always tries to get ahold of me then too and makes me think evil thoughts and tries to get me to do things that i know are wrong but i have to resist

even my own nephew is not immune to the devils influence

he was trying to get me to switch to the dark side by telling me that the democrats arent so bad and that maybe i should consider voting for them but i was like no way nephew i know thats just the devil talking through you

its a constant battle

but im not going to give up im going to keep fighting the good fight and spreading the truth no matter what the devil throws my way and i will not be silenced like jesus was