Skip Navigation
InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)AI

Am I the Crazy One?

  • Ex-Wife Malicious Behavior

    I leave the country and go 8000 miles to escape the harassment. It's just a brief amount of time to heal. I return right back into the eye of the storm.

    The following is the email thread:

    From: Joe Smith on Mar 27, 2024, 10:42 AM To: Maria Jones Subject: Penny’s Birthday   I will pick Penny up on her birthday as per court orders and from that date going forward, I will be back on the regular parenting schedule.

    From: Maria Jones on Mar 27, 2024, 11:51 AM To: Joe Smith Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   Given you have not communicated and provided any updates, I have made plans with Penny for her birthday. Next week is spring break and she is scheduled to be with me. I am happy to provide you with a day for you to spend with her. She is free on Wednesday but has soccer practice in Whittier at night or I'm happy to provide you Friday 9am to extend your weekend next week with her until Monday when school starts.

    From: Maria Jones on Mar 30, 2024, 5:47 PM To: Joe Smith Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   Still no timely response from you. Penny will not be available to be picked up tomorrow.

    From: Joe Smith on Mar 30, 2024, 8:13 PM To: Maria Jones Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   There is a court order. I flew 8000 miles to be with her. You know what action la I will take if you don’t provide eher to me tomorrow.

    From: Maria Jones on Mar 30, 2024, 8:37 PM To: Joe Smith Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   Sure. I will pick her up on Monday 4/1 at 12:30pm per court order for spring break. You can pick her up Saturday morning 4/6 for your weekend and take her to school on Tuesday. Try to learn to better communicate as a considerate parent to avoid making her feel like now she is missing her own bday plans with her family. Do better!

    From: Maria Jones on Mar 30, 2024, 10:17 PM To: Joe Smith Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   It’s unfortunate that these decisions you make have caused her to cry for the last 2 hours. You should think about the impact and don’t make her feel guilty with the text messages you have been sending her.

    From: Joe Smith on Mar 30, 2024, 11:34 PM To: Maria Jones Subject: Re: Penny’s Birthday   I’m sorry you feel that way. You scheduled a party on her birthday during my custodial time without informing me of this. Despite me informing you in advance that I would be returning to my regular custodial schedule starting on her birthday, you continued to make these plans up to the day before my custodial, time starts. I also informed our daughter, several weeks ago, that I would be returning for her birthday and I’m sure she discussed this with you already. In my opinion, it seems as though the planning of your party during my custodial time is the fundamental source of what we are having difficulty with now. If we both stick to the court orders we shouldn’t have these problems. Thank you.

    From: Maria Jones on Mar 31, 2024, 10:13 AM To: Joe Smith She did not communicate to me when you would be returning. Learn to communicate important details directly with me.

    0
  • Poor poor ex-wifey needs to vacate her 5 BR home to go to a 10 BR home

    Whew. That was a rough one. I got a bit emotional on that one . Two cups of coffee will do that! I'm very sensitive to it. My apologies to all the people that felt the need to downvote. I can see why you did.

    Crazyness deleted!

    0
  • Four Years and a Bust on Minor's Counsel

    It's been a challenging journey with this recent strategy, spanning approximately four years, involving significant time, financial resources, and effort. This week, however, marked a pivotal moment in our case. The judge presiding over our case denied my ex-wife's request to appoint minor's counsel for our child. Minor's counsel, an attorney representing the child's interests, typically charges between $300 to $500 to listen to the child and guide the parents accordingly. My ex-wife's intention seemed to be to use this as a strategy, influencing our child against me and setting the stage for a future living arrangement change when she turns 14, all while using the resources of Minor's Counsel to do so.

    Our case has seen about a dozen judges over the last decade, and this particular judge has demonstrated exceptional thoroughness and logic in their approach. Despite my ex-wife and her attorney's fervent efforts to influence the judge, including various claims and statements, the judge remained unbiased in his decision-making process. At one point my ex-wife even told the judge that she can no longer afford her mortgage payments, which was irrelevant to the matter at hand. Meanwhile she owns 4 properties, each over a $1M in value, and makes 3x my income while I live in a shitty rented apartment.

    I am concerned about the ongoing conflict and its impact on everyone involved, especially our child. I hope that those close to my ex-wife, including her family, friends, and attorney, can encourage her to seek support or therapy. It's important for her well-being and for moving beyond the anger and jealousy that seem to be driving these actions, affecting not only her and me, but especially our child. Please help.

    3
  • Email to Mom Regarding Cessation of Inappropriate Communications

    Dear Julie (not real name),

    You are aware that you've been restricted from texting me due to past inappropriate behavior and harassment. Using an email to send messages through my mobile carrier is still an infringement on my boundaries. Please refrain from such actions and only communicate with me via the approved method of family email communications.

    Thank you.

    13
  • Brain Washing our Child and More Fun to Come

    It's been a while since I last posted, but here it goes.

    So mom hired this new attorney about 4 years ago. She is a real battle-axe. The motto of her firm is that "Some people don't have the stomach for our type of litigation, so it's not for everyone" and our clients are "primarily wealthy". Does that tell you a handful already? The poor children that suffer under these types of attorneys.

    My ex has been pushing for a minor's counsel ever since she onboarded this attorney. A minor's counsel is an attorney for the child or children. They represent the interests of the children and they charge family law attorney fees of $400 - $500 per hour to listen to what the child has to say and force the parents to pay and comply. So, child wants to live with mom 100% she lives with mom, child wants to live with dad 100%, child lives with dad. Child wants to join $10,000 basketball association, parents are forced to comply and pay for it. As with the rest of the family law industry it's in the attorneys best interest to churn issues. The more issues the more money they make.

    So, mom has been tainting our children's minds and allowing our children to make decisions of their own. Life choice decisions that they are not ready to make. It's call parentification and it's harmful. At the same time anytime that dad disapproves of something, he is automatically branded unsupportive of his child's needs. It's very interesting, because this is a woman that paid more in legal fees to avoid paying child support to dad than what was owed in child support. If that tells you anything. Let's look at an email a couple of days ago where I try to address the brainwashing of one of my children. She is 12 y/o and badmouthing from her mom's home is not uncommon as I have experienced it since our child could talk.

    From Dad Lately, I've noticed a change in Kassy. Whenever decisions don't align with her wishes, she becomes quite vocal. One of these disagreements she mentioned that she's expressed a desire to decide where she lives once she turns 14. Additionally, she often uses phrases like, "you're not understanding my needs" and "why should I believe in God.” I can't help but notice that these sound similar to your viewpoints. I'm concerned that there may be an intention to sway Kassy's perspective of me or to distance her from me. I truly request that we avoid this. My love for Kassy is immense, and hearing her voice such sentiments is deeply hurtful. We may have differing opinions on parenting, but for Kassy's sake, it's crucial that we present a united front. No matter our personal disputes or legal challenges, I always try to shield Kassy from our disagreements. It's essential for her well-being to have a positive relationship with both her parents. My hope is for us to cooperate in raising Kassy, but it often feels like I can only please you by acquiescing to all your wishes. This has been a recurring feeling over the years, and it saddens me. I urge you to consider Kassy'sfeelings and well-being. It's crucial for her emotional health to not harbor resentment towards either of us. I hope our differences wouldn't overshadow our mutual love for her. If I've inadvertently upset you, I apologize. My main priority is ensuring Kassy's happiness and well-being.

    From Mom She has a right to her own opinions, needs and what she wants. She is getting older if you haven’t noticed and should have her own opinions. She knows how you are and senses what she senses. The school teaches her to advocate for herself and so do I.

    From Dad Ever since you engaged your current attorney, which I believe has been for the past 3-4 years, you've sought minor's counsel. I'm concerned about what perceptions might have been influenced during that period.

    From Mom Why don’t you learn to support her and listen to her instead of forcing what you want on her.

    From Dad I support our daughter 100% on what she wants to do. There is absolutely no use in discussing this with you any further.

    Goodnight.

    10
  • Ex-Wife: Arrogance in Supporting Her Children

    Disclaimer: The narratives in these correspondences are shaped by my personal experiences. They are intended as entries in my journal. To ensure confidentiality, all personally identifiable details have been intentionally omitted from these texts. The possibility of anyone I am close to encountering this page is unlikely. If you find a connection with the information herein, rest assured that it is purely unintentional.

    I want to delve into the details of the situation concerning my ex-wife's refusal to financially support our children. As I previously mentioned, my ex-wife comes from a wealthy family and enjoys a substantial six-figure salary, earning around $300,000 USD per year. She lives in an impressive mansion that she built, while my income is significantly lower, and I struggle to make ends meet in a rental apartment.

    In the United States, the law is unequivocal regarding child support, stating that all parents have a legal obligation to provide financial support for their children, ensuring they can maintain a standard of living similar to that of the parents. The calculation of child support typically considers pre-tax income, the number of children, and the time each parent spends with them.

    Realizing the importance of my ex-wife's financial contribution to our children's well-being, I decided to take legal action and filed for child support through the local court, providing relevant information about both our incomes and the time we each spend with the children. However, the process has been complicated by the fact that this court system appears to be biased against men, creating additional challenges for my case.

    Despite the legal obligation and our children's rightful claim for child support, my ex-wife has been avoiding payment, leaving me without any financial assistance for an extended period. In contrast, she has engaged a high-conflict attorney to advocate on her behalf. Consequently, the accumulated amount of child support owed by my ex-wife could reach approximately $100,000. I am concerned that she may have spent more on legal fees and private investigators, potentially for harassment purposes, than the actual child support she owes.

    In her efforts to avoid fulfilling her parental obligations, my ex-wife has resorted to harassing me to drop the case, attempting to blackmail me, and intentionally creating conflicts in front of our children to provoke negative reactions from me. Her actions are often subtle and accumulate over time, leading me to suspect that she may be receiving coaching from her attorney or another third party. I am cautious not to react, as I am aware that any response could be used against me in the legal proceedings.

    From my perspective, the well-being of our children is of paramount importance. I firmly believe that my ex-wife's negative behavior is detrimental to them, and I have diligently documented these instances. To protect the children from further harm, I have decided not to engage in responding to her provocations. Instead, I implore my ex-wife to put an end to this harmful behavior for the sake of our children. However, I understand that she is unlikely to comply, and I can only hope that intervention from family members may help in resolving the situation.

    Ultimately, my main desire is to achieve a sense of peace and receive the financial support to which our children are entitled under the law. I find it perplexing why this situation has become so contentious and wonder if it is driven by animosity toward me. Nevertheless, I remain committed to advocating for the best interests of our children and securing the financial assistance they rightfully deserve.

    Please feel free to comment on our situation.

    2
  • Ex-Wife: Vacation Lies - Third World Nation Travel with Our Children

    Disclaimer: The narratives in these correspondences are shaped by my personal experiences. They are intended as entries in my journal. To ensure confidentiality, all personally identifiable details have been intentionally omitted from these texts. The possibility of anyone I am close to encountering this page is unlikely. If you find a connection with the information herein, rest assured that it is purely unintentional.

    One of the purposes of making this information available to many is so that people can see the side that they never hear about. It's very easy for family to listen to their loved one and accept everything word for word without accounting for any manipulation that they might be intentionally creating to make the other parent look bad. And once dad stands up for his rights and makes a big stink about things mom has then proved her point. "Look, here's the angry dad acting up again, daddy.", she yells. "Please have the harassers come and do their work!", she says as she tugs on daddy's arm to do something drastic. I've seen it time and time again, "I'll just do a couple of things that he doesn't like while taking advantage of court orders. When he reacts, his reaction will prove my point". I have no doubt, based on my past experience with my ex-wife that the story she gives her family and attorney is a lot different from the one I have to tell. She does it intentionally to manipulate her family. For the attorney it doesn't matter as long as she pays her bill, she will do anything for her and with the money that my ex's family has, they will do just about anything, as I have seen. I know this because when I've tried to circumvent mom in the past by contacting family members, she has gone into a ballistic rage on me.

    Here's a prime example of mom's manipulation. We're allotted 14 days for vacation per year which has to occur in the summer. Mom informs me that she is taking our children to a first world nation overseas to see a cricket tournament that runs for an extended period of time. In fact as a good will gesture I agree to allow her to take our children for extra time. I tend to do this graciously and often and I'm always reminded of the fact that no good deed goes unpunished. I'm unsure as to why I'm still generous to mom because she will typically throw it in my face every single time. Unfortunately, something lingers in the back of my mind that she will turn over a new leaf and become a better person and more respectful towards me. But like every situation I get my hopes up high and she always disappoints me 100% of the time. Is this intentional manipulation? Absolutely.

    So what happened here? Mom sends me her itinerary last minute. Not only is she taking our children to this first world nation but she is taking our children to a third world nation and two more nations on top of that. Four different countries instead of the one country I was given in the beginning of her request. She was likely preparing for this for months, gathering Visas and making hotel plans for these extra countries. No sense in telling dad about this to see if he had any problems right?. I was never told of these other countries. I agreed to one first world nation and she decides to drop this on me last minute, without notice so any complaint I'd have would be too late. If it were another city or state, I wouldn't have a problem with it. This third world nation is a Muslim nation. Last I heard Americans were not on the top favorite list there. To be honest, my rights have been striped from mom a long time ago. She does what she wants when she wants and points the finger at me as the culprit.

    1
  • Ex-Wife: and Attorney Faked a Scenario Leading me to believe I was reconciling with my ex-girlfriend - SCHADENFREUDE

    Disclaimer: The narratives in these correspondences are shaped by my personal experiences. They are intended as entries in my journal. To ensure confidentiality, all personally identifiable details have been intentionally omitted from these texts. The possibility of anyone I am close to encountering this page is unlikely. If you find a connection with the information herein, rest assured that it is purely unintentional.

    [These are still in draft and I ask for your patience with corrections]

    I've learned a new word today that best describes my ex-wife : SCHADENFREUDE

    Of course it's origins are German and of course it was invoked by the National Socialist Party (Nazi) to inflict the cruelty against the many people that suffered under their hands. That's not the origin of the word but I like to reference it relating to Schadenfreude and what appears to be a correlation with the hivemind that is so prominent today.

    Def: The experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.

    I visited the Imperial Library of Trantor once and I stumbled upon one book that made a deep disturbing impression on me. For the life of me, I cannot remember the title nor the name of the author, but it had stories of what it would be like to experience extreme hell on earth. Some people may use the term to describe the difficult challenges that they face in life. I don't think most people reading this have ever experienced true hell on earth. Although I would describe my ex-wife's need to punish me close to my hell on earth, the closest I've come to that is my own experience watching people jump to their deaths from 80 stories, because they don't want to burn alive. I watched as the buildings collapsed disintegrating everything that was contained within them. The thoughts of those poor souls standing on a gaping open hole in the building trying to decide whether they want to be burned alive or plummet to their death intentionally, to avoid the pain of the heat. When the newspaper showed a close up of that man jumping to his death while covering his face, I broke down in tears. Myself, being a Christian have wondered if I were put into that position I'm faced with the difficult decision on whether God would forgive me for intentionally escaping this world to avoid the immediate pain of feeling and watching my flesh burn off my body. Imagine having to make that decision with those conflicting beliefs while thinking that you likely be alive during your travel to your death and end with your body smashing up against the ground in a violent death, never to see of be seen by your loved ones in this life again. The disintegration of the buildings caused body parts to be lodged on the rooftops of different buildings. I can't help but think of what a violent death that was.

    The story that stayed with me was the authors description of hell on earth from the perspective of a young mother in a Nazi death camp on her way to the gas chamber. The story describes her walking along a soft path made from the ashes of those that were previously gassed and cremated and being fully aware of that fact. She is aware of her doom as she holds her child's hand in a death grip on their way to their final resting place. The author goes on to describe the image of a building bellowing smoke creating a slight metallic odor in the air. She is then beaten and permanent separated from her child. She is gang raped and sent back on her way facing her doom without child knowing that both her and her child will stand alone in their deaths only to become part of the same trail that she walked to end in this world.

    I think about the American soldiers that first discovered the horrors of those death camps and the atrocities that they discovered. We see images of naked dead bodies piled up in buildings with barely any flesh on their bodies from malnutrition and disease covered with flies that are willing lay their eggs in the flesh in order to create new life. Not for one moment do I disagree with the policy of parading the local German people through the death camps forcing them to properly dispose of the remains of those people as punishment for their apathy. I've always marveled at the strategic military prowess that Adolf Hitler used at the beginning of the war, but I detest the disgusting actions that he took in desecrating the image of humankind. I think to today's hivemind mentality and lack of common sense that is spreading throughout the world and the fact that history will likely repeat itself. I apply this mentality to my ex-wife and the power she holds on the multiple individuals that have harassed me for over a decade. It appears that these people take pleasure in making one's life miserable which brings me back to SCHADENFREUDE.

    The problem with Schadenfreude is that the more you try to plead with people to stop their carnage, the more they increase their attack on you. I have experienced this multiple times, when I have attempted to create peace between myself and my ex-wife. I find that I am attacked with more intensity and more pleasure than before. At first I could not explain this anomaly. It doesn't make sense to me.

    Since I cannot possibly reason with this woman, I can only ask that family members intervene here. For your grand-children, for your nieces, nephews, god-children, cousins and for mankind please intervene and stop the continued abuse that I receive from her. If you're her attorney, it's important that you are aware of this. Don't turn a blind eye to this. You could be directly responsible for any negative outcome for these families. Your intervention is the only thing that is going to save our lives. Perhaps I fanned the flames and came off arrogant for my tit-for-tat behavior. I acknowledge that was wrong, but that was my defensive response to being attacked. I should have turned the other cheek as I have been taught and I acknowledge my short comings and realized the damage it created. Two wrongs don't make a right, right? But you need to stop the insanity here because she will not.

    I cannot express to you how this definition is so suitable to my ex-wife's actions. People may come to me and say "hey cmon, she really isn't that bad is she?" To anyone meeting her for the first time, she will come off as friendly and engaging, a normal person. If you cross paths with her she will become your worst nightmare. Although she may find that to be a good quality of hers, as human being, it's a disgusting type of person to be. To have no empathy, no compassion, what good do you see in the world except your own selfish needs and desire. I don't have the ability to diagnose anyone, but there are ailments that hold many of the symptoms I could label her as. I share children with this woman. This is not anger from me speaking. This is a sheer concern and desperation for the outcome of our children. I am desperately worried that our children may inherit this dysfunction. For someone to pretend that they are someone else in order to hurt or destroy another that they once cared for (or pretended to). To me, that is truly evil. If for some reason this outcome is the result of my desire to end our marriage, I apologize to you. It was never my intention to hurt you. The fact is, you hurt me and you have been hurting me for over a decade and it has worn me down. Perhaps you're happy about that, but the fact is that I am the father of your children and you can continue beating me down, taking my money, trying to put me in the poor house, in a psych ward or worse in jail. What good does that do for your children? Everything is entwined and my outcome has a direct relation to the success of our children. If you hurt me, in some way it will hurt them. If you don't believe your children will understand what has happened you are dead wrong. They are already starting to see what's going on. Our last incident on the road has given me new understanding of how clever our children are.

    Back to the situation with this farce. What I can tell you is that my ex-wife and her attorney have allegedly interfered with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend on social media or may have staged it to look that way. I can't go into it too much detail because it would all be speculation, but someone was pretending to be my ex-girlfriend on social media looking to reconcile. People pretended to be me and my ex-girlfriend. Maybe there were points in which my ex-girlfriend was involved. It created a lot of negative results. If there was a possibility for reconciliation with my ex-girlfriend the ex-wife has likely extinguished it. I'm absolutely certain that it was her, based on certain correspondence that I received from her as her way to dig in the knife. So my ex plays severe games with the heart. We're talking about a middle aged professional adult here.

    I'm not licensed to diagnose but there appears to be a lot of psychology behind this issue. I've mentioned Schadenfreude above. Another one of which is called triangulation. Based on Psych Central's definition, triangulation is when a toxic or manipulative person, often a person with strong narcissistic traits, brings a third person into their relationship in order to remain in control. There will be limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the manipulator. I cannot decide whether the manipulator is my ex or her attorney.

    My ex-wife loves her revenge. My message to her is that you're wasting a lot of time and money, destroying relationships, destroying lives and you've allegedly committed a lot of crimes. In addition, you continue to sever what is left of our co-parenting relationship. Please stop for our children's sake.

    I still haven't asked why they're doing what they do. I'd love for my ex-wife or her attorney to come right out and tell me why they have hired folks to harass me, why they are trying to destroy me. But I somewhat already know the answer and and it's money along with her desire for revenge for perceived injustice and possibly mental illness. Do you guys want me to drop the case? I will consider it when you send an official letter to me stating that's what you want and that you will stop your harassment if I waive any money. There has to be specifics in your stipulation about the harassment events that you have perpetrated. Of course, I know you're not that stupid to admit to the crimes you have inflicted on us. Please just stop.

    5
  • Ex-Wife: One Decade of Harassment: Part ??: The Convoy

    Disclaimer: The narratives in these correspondences are shaped by my personal experiences. They are intended as entries in my journal. To ensure confidentiality, all personally identifiable details have been intentionally omitted from these texts. The possibility of anyone I am close to encountering this page is unlikely. If you find a connection with the information herein, rest assured that it is purely unintentional.

    This is all alleged.

    If you missed the introduction, this ongoing chronicle is a record of the persistent harassment I've faced after divorcing a wealthy woman and trying to collaboratively raise our children.

    It's almost unbelievable that before I can even get through documenting a decade's worth of harassment, a new issue pops up. As detailed in the introduction, this journal is an ongoing account of the irrational antics that wealthy individuals, like my ex-wife, resort to with their money in order to assert their significance. Rest assured, everything contained in this document is nothing short of the raw, honest truth.

    Take for instance the road trip I planned with our children just last week. Our court order mandates that we inform the other parent about our travel plans. This requirement was specifically asked for by my ex-wife years ago. Even back then, I expressed my apprehension about privacy, not because I was entirely against sharing such information, but because of my ex-wife's past infringements on my privacy. Sharing our vacation details with her felt like giving her the keys to our hotel room. I would have no problem sharing such information with anyone else, but her track record has proven that she cannot be trusted with it. Last week served as a prime example.

    As someone who loves spontaneity, I enjoy road trips, even if they're last-minute plans. Our destination was a popular city about 5-7 hours away. Initially, the journey seemed to be going well. About an hour in, however, I started noticing unusual driving behavior from the cars around us. Having been an experienced driver with advanced training in defensive driving, I recognized the deliberately disruptive driving when I saw it. Between six to ten cars were involved in this behavior, switching lanes around me without reason, tailgating, and even getting dangerously close to my car while in motion. After enduring this for a while, there came a point when I was encircled by these vehicles. I attempted to outmaneuver them, but one truck continued to cut me off. It was a terrifying ordeal, especially with my children in the car, and we could've ended up in a serious accident had it not been for my driving skills.

    We had to stop to charge my car in a deserted parking lot. Angry and upset, I texted my ex about our near-accident, urging her to call off whoever she had hired to harass us. Despite her predictable response involving subtle aggression and standard insults (likely crafted after consulting her attorney), I decided to joke about seeking help from these lurking strangers. To my surprise, a woman soon arrived to charge her electric Mustang nearby. Upon returning to check my own charger, I found a Yellow Pages phone book placed conveniently next to it. If she could conjure up such coincidences, why couldn't she hire someone to help me with our children instead? Despite my lone parenting struggles, unlike my ex who has unlimited familial and monetary support, we continued our journey peacefully.

    The return journey, however, was not as peaceful. Anticipating the issue, I decided to leave at midnight, a move likely to inconvenience many, possibly even inflate my ex's surveillance costs. The first part of the journey was smooth, but as we neared the final 75 miles, the harassing entourage returned. Knowing that my early departure disrupted their Sunday morning gave me a perverse sense of satisfaction.

    My children, who was present during a similar incident on a road trip last year, is beginning to understand what's happening. They remember the frustration I faced due to this recurring interference that marred parts of our vacation. It's not only me who is affected, but our children too. What kind of mother would put her children through this? I'm unsure of the next steps, but documenting these experiences will hopefully guide my decision. My ex, in my opinion, needs to rectify the damage her poor decisions have caused. I'm at a loss as to why she continues with this behavior and how her attorney allows it.

    DRAFT: Edits to this document will follow

    0
  • Ex-Wife : One Decade of Harassment: Introduction

    Disclaimer: The narratives in these correspondences are shaped by my personal experiences. They are intended as entries in my journal. To ensure confidentiality, all personally identifiable details have been intentionally omitted from these texts. The possibility of anyone I am close to encountering this page is unlikely. If you find a connection with the information herein, rest assured that it is purely coincidental.

    I updated some information and criticism of my ex's immediate family below. It's not my place to judge. Her family was good to me up until the point that I became their enemy. That was their choice alone and of course I only had problems with her immediate family. At least that is what I like to think.

    This is a draft of an ongoing saga. Check in the future for updates.

    This is my story of being married and divorced to a spouse that just cannot let go of things. Many ex-spouses spew stories of hatred and resentment about their ex-spouse, most of the time onlookers just disregard the statements because of bitterness with the divorce. In my case, when the divorce started, I really didn't have a negative view of my ex-wife, even with the fact that she made false accusations against me and had me arrested, taken from our home, forbidden to return to both home and forbidden to see my children children just weeks after I filed for divorce. There were never any claims of domestic violence before that occurrence. I was waltzed out of my home in the early hours in handcuffs because they got to take someone. Interestingly enough, the case was dropped rather quickly as a result of a conversation I had with a police officer earlier explaining my fear of living with my soon to be ex-wife. Attorneys know what actions they can suggest to their clients to turn a divorce in their favor overnight, and a claim of domestic violence works well to do that.. That's when I realized we reached the point of no return. There was no coming back from that despite the feelings I still had for her. She set that reconciliation ablaze that night and it was never possible to recover from it since then. I understood she was riddled with anxiety as a result of me filing our paperwork for the divorce. Her primary concern was maintaining custody of our children. I understood that but her actions since the beginning have been very well orchestrated. In hindsight you could see what steps she took to prepare for the moment of surprise. She is truly a master of trickery. Since that night of arrest, for the last decade she still continues to make me out as a monster and she has done some pretty disturbing things. I will go into the issues and her actions in the following documents.

    About 10 years ago in Central California, I decided to divorce my then wife of 2 years. It wasn’t my intention to get divorced but it was the final straw that I could bear in an ongoing marriage of continual abuse. I believe that when people hear abuse they see a man in a sweaty tank top yelling and beating his wife telling her to do the dishes. That’s a standard stereotype that some people would love to portray. A lot of people love to throw that word around to gain sympathy and support to their cause. The truth is that abuse can come in many forms. Emotional abuse, financial abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse and legal abuse are some of those types. It can be abuse against women and it certainly can be against men too. You have harassment from the individual or the hiring of a third party to initiate the harassment. In my case the harassment came from my ex-wife, a hired third-party and her attorney.

    As a husband I was only physically abused once while we were dating. Upon the threat of leaving, she promised never to do it again, and she didn’t. As I mentioned above, there are many types of abuse and I was undeniably subjected to them all. That slapping should have been a red flag for me, but I forgave her. I never physically abused my ex-wife at anytime when we were dating or in marriage post divorce. I have never committed any of the abusive behaviors I previously mentioned, but I have suffered under every one of them. In hindsight I think I would prefer having been physically abused by her, compared to what she has done to me for over 10 years. If you ask her if she has been abusive towards me, she will respond to you in absolute denial. She's likely telling the truth because I believe she is in absolute denial that she has done anything wrong. For over decade I have not see one apology from her about the downfall of our marriage, whereas I have apologized profusely and I have taken the burden of the punishment unfairly.

    My ex was born in a very wealthy family. The type that owns the gated compound, the tennis court, pool and was situated on a large piece of property. She was first generation American born to an Asian family that held certain “values” or behaviors that were obviously different from mine. Her Dad was a shrewd businessman that had a penchant for cutting corners and getting things done under the table. They never paid taxes on consumer goods and used cash to get the best discounts as a bargaining tool. It didn't bother me. At the time I thought it was quite ingenious this unmentioned discount so to speak.

    I took out a lot of information in here that was previously written because it was probably written out of frustration and bias. No one should judge someone else as far as morals are concerned. It could be a matter of their perception of me and their anger. The fact is that many people in my ex's family were good people. I have my gripe with my ex and I should keep it at that.

    My mother made the statement until her death that she still holds no hard feelings for my ex-wife despite every negative thing she did to me. My mom lived a short portion of the decade of harassment that I've experienced. I'm almost certain, based on how I was raised that she would still side with forgiveness after 10 years because that's the way she was. Here's a perfect example of my families forgiveness that one might say is flawed after this story. I never met my grandfather. My grandfather was walking across the street late at night in New York City when a teenage driver hit my grandfather with her car killing him. She was from the same neighborhood and at that time you knew someone or you knew them from someone else you knew. Thirty years after that devastating event the women is a regular patron at my Aunt's restaurant bar. It was always an odd thing to see. If it weren't for this woman perhaps I would have had a grandfather but it wasn't my place to be angry. If my family wasn't angry then I wasn't going to be either. We can compare that to my ex's family, who do nothing but talk bad about me to our children. They are hostile to me at my children's events. They are hostile to me during court hearings. They think they are above the law and test the rules all the time. I'll go into the details on their actions and behavior in future parts of this document.

    We were internet dates at a time when it was still a bit taboo to meet people that way. My ex always had a cover story for how we met. She was always embarrassed of the internet dating story. We had planned to meet for the first time but my ex had to cancel due to illness. I thought she may have been backing out and was upset because I was excited about the date. I remember talking about it to a friend at work and he assured me that she would be calling to reconnect. I recall asking him if I should bring something as a gift such as a flower. I recall him suggesting otherwise, saying that it was too soon for that. I was ecstatic to get a call from her asking for I cannot recal whoe picked the a seafood restaurant by the pier. My ex had already arrived and was standing eagerly in front of the restaurant. As I drove by, I saw her and waved. I knew she saw me but the sun was in her eyes and she had smiled while she blocked it with her hand. For that reason she may not have gotten too much of a view of me, but I had certainly checked her out. Not to be the shallow man but I did get a little nervous. The distortion of the sun gave me a bad interpretation of her legs. I never told her this but as I was pulling up to the restaurant, she appeared to have cankles. If you're unfamiliar with cankles they are when the ankles blend in with your calves creating a an interpretation of having large legs. I had to make a U-turn after passing the restaurant and I found a spot about a block walk. My panic created a unnecessary nervousness about my new finding, but I was very pleased as I walked up to her and realized that was not the case. Her body was very nice. It was petite and very proportionate. Her skin was light and she had a beautiful eyes and a very unique nose. Her hair had this gorgeous black thickness to it, and she had it slightly curled, something that I noticed she did in the future on a rare occasion, but it was still beautiful any way you looked at it. To this day I have a picture of her standing buy the ocean with the visibility of the island in which I proposed to her. Recently, I have tried to get my child to take the same picture. Unfortunately I explained why and my child did not want to do it as she has sometimes has her mother's un-pliable personality. As far as her looks were concerned I could say that it was love at first sight the day I met her.

    My ex was the picture perfect girlfriend. Thin, feminine, intelligent, good family (as so I thought), motivated. She wore some of the best clothes that I've seen on a woman and I always commented on her shoe collection comparing them to those owned by Imelda Marcos. She had a lot of great style and dress for a woman which made me proud to date her. We got along very well and we rarely argued while we were dating.

    In hindsight t he problem that I never took into account was that she was handed everything she ever wanted in her life on a golden platter. She never had to work before her career. Her parents paid for her to attend college. I came from the opposite end of this. I worked continually from the age of 13. I paid for some of my college and my parents helped with the rest. I wore hand me downs from brothers and cousins. To me and my friends and family that was normal living to us. We were good kids that didn't get into too much trouble. We didn't need much and we were very happy with what we had.

    Although my family ties with my siblings were fairly strong, I did have some fallout with my family that created some rifts as a result of their difficult significant others. My parents did their best to contain these issues but they were long distance and limited due to their age. For that reason I welcomed being a part of my ex’s family. I thought that I could finally be a part of a close knit family that cared for one another. What I learned is that all came with a cost. Although the divorce was finalized a year or so after filing, my attempts to leave that family over the last decade have been unsuccessful. My ex has made it impossible for me to leave, keeping a grasp on me for an entire decade through our child. My life is comparable to the black sheep adopted cousin that nobody wanted and I have none of the benefits of being in a family, but all the negatives. It started with my ex-wife wanting to get married. Her younger sister had already been married and I could sense that was a problem with her. The relationship crumbled quickly with the high burdens of her desire to fill in the things that she believed were voids in her life. Marriage, homes, cars, baby and all the stresses that came with them were rushed in like an open valved tap. Despite my pleadings with her to stagger these needs, I was met with her frustration and rejection at every avenue. Then came the accusations of anger. "He's angry!", would start many of our conversations when it came to disagreement. It was her method of silencing me into compliance. We hired the help of a marriage counselor. Our first counselor pointed out weaknesses in the relationship with my ex-wife being the problem. That ended quickly with accusations of sexism and perversion. I didn't see it from this counselor. I agreed to get another counselor. This time it was a divorced bitter old women that lived alone that would now counseling us. I didn't know of her marital problems and bitterness until too late our last session. I was new to all this realm. We would attend the sessions and my ex would never say a thing. We'd go again and the same thing was done. Another session she would say a couple of words and she would point to me as having drinking problems. Next session was about me having anger issues. She allowed me to empty my heart out in every session pointing blame at me, while she did absolutely nothing to better the relationship. I had to ask the therapist to make her participate and still it would be the same finger pointing. Everything was my fault. It wasn't until the last and final session when I got angry because of her lack of participation. we got into an argument that day and I left justifiably angry. As we exited the therapists home, an immediate sympathetic wife came into the picture. She had promised she would take us out to dinner at a local sushi restaurant. At that point I just wanted to go home, but she poured on even more sympathy touching my hand as she told me to come to the restaurant. This soft wanting behavior was unlike her in a very long time and as a result I agreed to go. At that point I was confused but complied hoping we could get to a point of peace. I can recall the restaurant It was one of the sushi places with the conveyor belt that goes around the diner's tables. We sat in the center at a small table and watched as the sushi containers scurried by our table as we sat in resentment and silence. There couldn't be a point of realization where I understood much more that we were over. It wouldn't be until the near future that I realize the importance of that visit to the Sushi restaurant. That would be the place where I was to meet my harassers. These were people that would help her try and destroy my life for almost 10 years.

    To be continued.

    2
1 Active user